Shamita Shetty On Love, Marriage & Being Single

What Kind Of Man Is Shamita Waiting for to make wedding bells ring for her?

@nishjamvwal

In a world where women tend to throw the towel in and compromise on their cherished dreams of what constitutes an idyllic marriage, Shamita Shetty has been stoically single. She prefers to play the waiting game and follow sister Shilpa Shetty. -To look for someone that meets all her expectations, someone like Raj Kundra –“he has all qualities of a good sincere man. The quintessential ‘Mr Nice Guy’ - Unfortunately he’s taken. Fortunately by my sister” she laughs.

     I’ve known the family closely, and also realized how important it is in the eyes of the   family  for the girls to settle down and create a solid family. And yet Shamita waits  patiently for the man who will sweep her off her feet. What is she looking for in her man?


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What Men Want

With women becoming more forward , not waiting for the phones to ring like in the days of yore, today’s woman goes for the kill and a Man is spoilt for choice. Those women that don't make the cut despite going for the kill, end up the wall flowers ‘sitting out the dances’ and are left wondering what they must lack. 
What is it that puts a man off or turns him on. 

What is the list of do’s and most importantly the don't’s and where are they missing out. Why is the fabulous romance they see in films and movies not brilliantly lighting up their lives? And this is evident from the many emails inundating my box asking me what puts a man off and how can they make a relationship happen in their lives. And so it was that I went about asking some suave savvy men what it was that put them off. Because my take is, that before a man is attracted he must not be repelled.

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Adventurous Marriage

Marrying Into Different Cultures


In India people are still not completely comfortable with inter religious marriages so marriages into different cultures might definitely take much adjustment. Even when one marries someone of the same background- differences in habit and viewpoints crop up. 

Speaking styles, styles of arguing, teasing, listening, child rearing, protocol with each others parents, monetary responsibilities, issues come into play when you belong to two different worlds -literally.  Georgetown University linguistics professor Deborah Tannen, author of I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family says intercultural couples often attribute disagreements to other factors when the real cause is a difference in conversational style. 
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The Pressure Of Sex

The Social Pressure Of Sex & Fear Of Missing The Bus

Is it just sex or is there some lingering fragrance of romance in our times? In this super-fast age, people might just have misunderstood their urgency to get into the wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am mode for romance and poetry. 

All he wants, right after finding a woman attractive, is to cut the chase and get on with it. Shout his 'prowess' between the sheets from the rooftops and hope like hell that that's what'll make the relationship tick. 

He's barely met you, you've not even shared a first kiss than the self acclaimed Lothario, speaking of how good he is in bed, starts making emands.

The magic of those lingering moments of togetherness, the brush of the hand that sends a flame down the chest, the exchange of a look, the lingering backward glance of longing- is nearly extinct.

Romance is not overt in the face, it’s in thoughts, gestures, actions and the eyes. It creeps upon you like a sensuous dream and stays with you hours after the moments of intimacy. 

Sex, infatuation, physicality are being confused with love, romance, intensity and depth, and all are different states of being. 

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Tulip Joshi On Live In Relationships

Tulip Joshi On the (ir) relevance of Marriage

A television chat show I participated in with a group of well known faces  set me thinking. The subject was the relevance of marriage in today’s age. Living in being the choice in our times. Is Marriage just man made institution that is pertinent in our times and should one legalize a relationship or should it be a free flowing trust based living in with one another, where you walk out if things don't pan out as you had planned.

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The Heady Magic Sexy Mix Called LOVE

 WHAT IS LOVE?

 We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, and who can understand our quirks, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love. Criticisms & complaints & whines & excuses have no place in love! Falling in love with someone isn't always going to be easy... Anger... tears... laughter.... It's when you want to be together despite it all. That's when you truly love another.....

Nisha JamVwal

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Kiss & Make Up !

Kiss and make up

It was two painful months away from a loved one. I don't recall whose fault it was, nor what were the details of the quarrel. So it surely was not so monumental! And yet I couldn’t call-up and bridge the void even though I missed my friend philosopher and guide. I was ‘happy’ to stay away and convince myself that I’m better off without, rather than suffer the ‘humiliation’ of ‘going back’ on my words of annoyance when we last met. So what stopped me really from bringing back the happy times? Yes, the fear of rejection. Yes , the ego thing that looms so large in our lives. It’s like a corpse we carry around with us that debilitates us from flying and soaring. It took a good friend to shake me out of my condescension and holler, “pick up the phone and be the bigger person”.
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TRENDS STYLE FASHION ALL SPRING SUMMER & AUTUMN

FASHION FORWARD Nisha Jamvwal  Follow Nisha on http://nishajamvwal.blogspot.com/ & Tweet her on @nishjamvwal You know, I've never been one to blindly follow trends and will always stress that one must be very mindful of body type and what suits one before blindly going for whats ‘in' and whats ‘out'. Having said that, living in the fast track, we are all keen observers of the delectable outpourings from the industrial Milan headquarters, the jaw dropping ready to wear Chanel shows year after year at the Grand Palais Paris, the dramatic and out of the envelope pageantry of Alexander Mc Queen or then the ever glamorous trend guru Miuccia Prada. • The fashion world was left speechless with the nine-metre high, 240-tonne real iceberg that was the protagonist at the Karl Lagerfeld's autumn 2010 catwalk's stunning extravaganza with fringed wool shifts, exquisite sculpted knits, crystal-edged chiffon cocktail dresses, Yeti boots and faux fur-trimmed coats (of course real fur is super passé). The handbag was the hero as usual for Chanel, with Perspex ice cube shape in that trademark quilting. This show did not disappoint after last season's gigantic French barn with a seven piece orchestra that rose behind the curtain at the Chanel Show.  CLICK BELOW TO READ THE FULL ARTICLE........

'What I Desire In A Man' shares super Hot Model Dipannita Sharma

What Are The Qualities A Woman Looks For In A man   Nisha JamVwal 

What does a super hot, super gorgeous, film actor and model look for in a man when she wants to give her all to him, marry him, pamper him and be his forever?

Yes I'm sure most men would wish the fate of Dilsher, who got the woman of his dreams, when Dipaninita Sharma, the babe who has it all, said 'Yes' to his proposal. What did it all take?

When the lissom supermodel Dipannita Sharma got married she broke many hearts. What did it take for this man to take that giant leap into wedlock. An important step in a woman’s life, especially one who is an aspiring actor working her way into Bollywood.  

What did Dipannita see in a man to make him THE one?
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Nisha JamVwal Parties with Rati Agnihotri, Madhur Bhandarkar & Tanuj Virvani

Nisha JamVwal – Tanuj Virvani’s ‘Coming Out Party’ for his Debut ‘Love You Soniyo’

Nisha JamVwal

Nisha Celebrates With Rati
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The World’s Longest Sit-Down Lunch with Nisha JamVwal

The World’s Longest Sit-Down Lunch with Nisha JamVwal

There are sit-down cuisine’s, and there are sit-down cuisines. But this one had to be seen to be believed! Curving around the porch of the very artsy Grand Hyatt, an uncharacteristic nip in the afternoon air, Bombay buzzed with gourmet Melbourne fare. It was the celebration of the 20th anniversary of the Melbourne         Food and Wine Festival, and the State of Victoria is celebrating it with panache. Wow, the music pulsated with the four course cuisine, nearly to orchestral precision, like it was all a choreographed ballet!

Yes, I was late. Call it the juggle of handling my multitasking Bombay life and travel (am I sounding like I’m complaining?- I enjoy every second of the razors edge life). I jumped into the very heady red, with zucchini fritters and mozzarella, and was only able to linger and savour my second course, third and then the fourth. What struck me as special, was it was so light and chic, and preplated artistically. Flying in from a Delhi champagne art-do, into an orange, very Issey Miyake-ish, diamond sun dress and a favourite pink and orange AND red hat, I was seated right next to the Premier Louise, or should I say The Honourable Louise Asher MP. She was the official host of the evening, and the lunch was to introduce Melbourne, for which two chefs from across the world came together to prepare the light artistic cuisine – and I detected a distinct Thai and Vietnamese influence!

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A Magical Evening With Me At ZOYA

 Nisha JamVwal: A Magical Evening With Me At ZOYA

Nisha JamVwal on twitter @nishajamvwal

Talk about exotic lives! Nisha JhaVwal epitomizes the lifestyles of the rich and famous and is constantly jetting off around the world having seriously incredible experiences. So I am thrilled that she has agreed to document some of them for you here (exclusively on MissMalini.com!)

Nisha JamVwal

Capturing the Beauty of the White Peacock With Grandeur and Surreal Poise in Their Latest Offering

Hosting a champagne cocktail in Delhi also means a walk down memory lane. I am surrounded by friends who look the same from high school and college, and yet I feel so different. I remember an introverted and brooding ingénue, that was me. So different to the exuberant person that people see today.

Nisha JamVwal

Ramola Bachchan

I am looking at the girls from school, lovely, attractive and assured sashaying through the evening looking at jewelery that is being celebrated at Zoya, the diamond destination of Delhi.

A friend, Nisha JamVwal & Sanjiv Bhikchandani (CEO Naukari.Com)

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Nisha JamVwal – Party Whirl

Nisha JamVwal – Party Whirl 2011 – 2012, Trends, High-points & More

Nisha JamVwal

Follow @nishjamvwal on Twitter

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2011 to 2012: Parties, Yachts, Flights, Mountains & Palaces…

But Bombay is Bombay and holds its own in the world of extravagance and drama. It has been special since I came back from Paris. The most beautiful of experiences eclipse its somewhat lackluster infrastructure, its lack of beautiful parks and buildings – the people and the warmth and the chutzpah make it one of the wonderful-est cities of the world.
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'I Am In Love' #attraction & #sex Don't Promise Longivity

Being In Love With Being In Love  

Valentines day, Romance, Lust, Passion, Attraction, Cards & Gifts Don't Mean Love & Longevity

It's all such a production and romance is in the air when attractive people are around. Romance is so heady, like a drug, an elixir. Nothing that quite works like a shot in the arm and enervates you to bound to every destination and skip to work as does love. I think the world is in love with the idea of being in love, cards, romance, of the invigorating adrenalin rush and excitement, that makes you want to be your slimmest and best-est, that motivates success, makes you want to jog, to write poetry , to sing.

In the film 'Student of the Year' Alia Bhatt is 'In Love' with Varun Dhawan.  They are rich, attractive, and quite obviously must and should and have to date and conduct a romance!!!

Nothing packages love, sex and romance quite as effectively as Bollywood, and makes a lot of people fantasize love, romance and marriage. But please do remember that real life is different. There are many real issues to consider before getting together for a lifetime, or even just moving in............

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Actor Lillete Dubey on Being Super Mum

Three strong working women living under the same roof. A mother and two daughters. All opinionated dazzling, feisty. Any other country and they’d all have apartments apart but that's the beauty of India, they live in the same home and work it magically. They all get the best of belonging to the same world of glamour and celebrity. How does it work? Especially with Lillete and Ira working in the same play that debuted recently.

Interestingly that same play- Tracy Letts’ darkly comic drama ‘August: Osage County’ -the key issues dealt with is Mothers and Daughters, who verbally and physically abuse one another rather than exhibit kindness - their tough-love and power-play. 


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Are You Taking your Friend for Granted?

Stop Taking Your Friends For granted Before it is too Late

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art...It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival." C.S. Lewis

Nothing is more enjoyable to me than an movie evening and dinner with a close friend. But then this may not be the close friend’s idea of ‘fun’. This I discovered quite to my surprise when I was ‘dumped’ four times in a row, all the time realizing my ‘friend’ had chosen more ‘important’,  options over a tête à tête with me.  I was already in her life so she needed to make more 'conquests'. 


You see, when she’d made the ‘date’ , that evening had been event-less for her. But when more ‘important’ 'socially consequential' occasions presented themselves she felt I’d be there anyway in her life. Waiting. 

The 'social' occasions would not come again, and along with them the chance to move up the social ladder and create more relevance for her social 'station'. Funnily enough, I had instead declined my parties and dinners for that very night, in the desire to spend quality time with this same friend.

Before her divorce she had been engaging, attentive, and a real friend whom I had enjoyed the company of. For the sake of her company. 

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Suchitra Krishnamoorthi on love, life, divorce, sex and infidelity

When Life Has Other Plans

In Conversation with Suchitra Krishnamoorti

By

Nisha JamVwal 

Sometimes dreams don't realize in the happily ever after way that you had imagined

When you drove away into the sunset you hadn't imagined the real texture of life. It can grate yes. I know all about it. You come out of it all feeling short changed, shocked and disoriented. You get up in the night with palpitations and anxiety attack, wondering how it all went wrong. 

Which of us hasn’t faced disappointment, hurt and loneliness? Feeling short changed. And yet nearly no one actually owns up to real world ‘embarrassing’ feelings of anti-climatic disenchantment.

In her book Suchitra speaks candidly about her life and lack of sex, and how it drove her to depression. She tells of her desire to get married and her urge for some physical love from a man, sans which, life can be most unexciting even for a woman. What led to all this?............

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Cheating, Infidelity & After

Is a human being meant to be monogamous or is polygamy the natural way that man was to be? 

“'Infidel' is a term of reproach, which people, in their modesty, agree to apply to those who differ from them” Thomas Henry Huxley

What is infidelity? 

Was a human being intended to be with one person in a relationship 'until death do us apart'? 

Is infidelity an aberration or should the spouse just look the other way and move forward pretending like they didn't know , should a partner indulge in some attention toward the opposite sex ? 

Should a partner  look at a few dalliances and a sexual tryst outside of their sacred bond as a breakdown of the relationship or as a once off, twice off diversion that should not be given cognizance? Is it normal to be in other ‘friendships’ in a relationship that spans a lifetime?

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Complexities Of Mother Daughter Love Hate Relationships

Everything mother said might have been true. I should not have freaked every time my boyfriend had looked, spoken, breathed toward another girl. Yes I definitely looked better with black eyeliner. And true, journalism and writing was my forte. But it was how she said it that probably made me buck and want to do the exact opposite. 


A little anecdote- I remember giving my mother a Nancy Friday book on mother daughter relationships at the young age of 10 hoping she'd pick up some tips on mothering!!! (So much for presumptiousness!!!!!!)


From the other side of the fence today, I see my friends struggling with their daughters, challenge and spat-ing with their mums and unable to deal with the barrage of ‘feedback’ meted out to them.

Oscar film ‘Black Swan’ it was that set me thinking about obsessive mothers commonly known as the helicopter mothers that mastermind their children's every move, living their frustrated and thwarted dreams through their children, imposing and obsessing over their every move and achievement that the mother had failed to achieve. 
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Older Women seek younger Lovers.......Aishwarya Bachchan, Madonna, Anjali Tendulkar, Farah Khan's happily ever after!

Older woman seek younger guy relationships!
Younger Man Older Woman Romances, do they work?
@nishjamvwal

Demi More at forty two may have been the poster girl for the older woman younger man (Ashton was twenty seven) syndrome in relationships, and while it didn't turn out successful the bug is catching fire all over the world. 

One-sixth of women in their fifty's, date men  in their forty's and thirty’s and  almost one-third of women between ages 40 and 69 are dating  the more flexible younger men who draw them probably because of that sense of adventure of the more spontaneous, younger men? 

And this equation seems to be working- Aishwarya Rai at 37 is older than Abhishek Bachchan, and Anjali Tendulkar at 44 is much older than her famous cricketer husband Sachin Tendulkar. 

Behind the unleashing of cougars in pop culture is what a growing number of sociologists say is a real demographic shift. In India I think young men these days 'go' for older woman because the 'virginity' bogey has quite evaporated. Situations such as this only  truly happen when one is not looking for it, since the mind was programmed along conventional lines. And then forbidden fruit is always tempting. 

When Bollywood actor Saif married Amrita Singh,  a certain behavior was treated as unacceptable. Over time, views became more liberal and it became acceptable to people. 

But most of all i think it begins as a casual idea of a 'thrill' or challenge  on both sides, untrammeled by the need for commitments of  permanency until things by their own momentum get too deep & intense.

The Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, reports that couples don't care about 
the gap , only the outside world does. It states that the men are more strongly drawn to to older women because of their sexual expertise, lack of inhibition and after all the idea of a woman who is sexually knowledgeable and passionate is very attractive to a man who gets more hesitant interactions and conditional sexual access from younger women.. 


The Young Sex Drive
Research shows that these women often display formidable sexual prowess and younger men are drawn by the promise of what they have to offer between the sheets. What starts with a physical attraction turns into something intense with the appeal of that confident, assured air about older women.  She doesn't need constant assurance about how she looks, or doesn't require you to stroke her ego. 

Older women tend to bring a wealth of experience with them, both in matters of the head and heart and expectations of a relationship tend to be less complicated, more focused on the emotions and comfort of being together. 

They've been-there-done-that, and can sometimes offer valuable advice to a younger beau on how to conduct himself socially and also in a difficult work situation, or even a career move.

  So do these relationships work? While psycho-analysts do seem to be speaking in favor of this shift,   

I can vouch for the success of those I have witnessed. Unless there is an agenda like monetary reasons a man latches onto a more successful woman older by few years, it is successful more often than not. 

The thing is , any relationship, even a friendship based on agendas and selfishness is bound to crumble, age or no age difference.


 My friend Sonali went  into a younger man  trepidation- "He is a model, he is so attractive..." ten years down they are happy as ever, married with a son. 

The film 'Prime' was a great story of how it works and why! Jehangir the Moughul,  the famous Egyptian queen Cleopatra- annals if examined present many examples of successful older women who make an interested and interesting match with a younger lover.

Nisha JamVwal

Printed in & For Deccan Chronicle & Asian Age