Monday, May 7, 2012

What Men Want

With women becoming more forward , not waiting for the phones to ring like in the days of yore, today’s woman goes for the kill and a Man is spoilt for choice. Those women that don't make the cut despite going for the kill, end up the wall flowers ‘sitting out the dances’ and are left wondering what they must lack. 
What is it that puts a man off or turns him on

What is the list of do’s and most importantly the don't’s and where are they missing out. Why is the fabulous romance they see in films and movies not brilliantly lighting up their lives? And this is evident from the many emails inundating my box asking me what puts a man off and how can they make a relationship happen in their lives. And so it was that I went about asking some suave savvy men what it was that put them off. Because my take is, that before a man is attracted he must not be repelled.
While different strokes for different folks is valid, there are some things that seem to be the rule in thumb for making a relationship happen. 

In the physical attributes body odour, bad teeth and poor breath topped the list of all bar none in my very amusing survey. 

Obesity is a put off said many. Bad skin, not only facial skin but all over the body is a big no no for most. 

Dirty nails and (sounds strange but) if her elbows and knees have dry skin it can be a turn off. 

“ Strange but - you don't want women with facial hair! Or any body hair!” said some of the subjects of my multiple interviews. And surprisingly some said some hair is a turn on!

Conversely while a man is attracted to a lovely woman, the catch is that undue preoccupation with your looks wont do the trick. 
Being too concerned about the way you look, peeking at every mirror in the elevator  wont win too many hearts. Men seem to enjoy a woman who can be a little fun beyond the good looks. I mean good looks and then more works for longevity in a relationship.

An interesting discovery- even for me- is that a man is attracted by a woman who is not always eating like a bird, but enjoys a good meal with him. Shows that she is not self obsessed and calorie conscious to a fault and enjoys food, something he might enjoy with you.  Most men I spoke to , and yes I spoke to quite a few before writing this, wailed against women who are on a diet most often and just pecking at tiny food and green tea. 

A man enjoys a woman who enjoys her drink. Gone is the day of the vestal virgin in more ways than one.

In the category of temperament and character, most vociferous and unanimous was the  abhorrence for superficiality and lack of character. Men across the board it appears are attracted to depth, genuine feelings and intelligence. 

Bimbettes yacking on the phone or BBM’ing on a blackberry feverishly in chat groups with female friends, obsessive about handbags and diamonds seems to be a put off for most men. 

Vacuousness is definitely a no-no today. Women who can't speak/hold a conversation or are just in articulate cannot hold the attention of a partner long term. Gone is the day a man only wants entertainment in bed. He wants a conversationalist he can discuss his work issues with and brainstorm ideas and world politics with too.
Bad English is a turn off. Girls who talk too much about  themselves is definitely not attractive. 

“Some of the women I've met have gone on and on about how popular they were/are and how every guy in the world is hitting on them! So annoying” shares a man whose list is endless. 

His loved one being loquacious might be attractive to Shahid Kapoor in ‘Jab We Met’ but in reality jabbering non-stop can make a man want to run away. Interrupting him when he’s sharing with you, giving unwanted advise, being high handed, waiting for an opportunity to jump in and deliver a long piece on your views, while a man is trying to tell you his innermost thoughts, is not attractive. Give him a listening ear and he will appreciate you.
And please ONLY give advise if asked for it!

Watch this space for the tricks to be that special someone to a man. 

Written for Printed & Published in Asian Age & Deccan Chronicle \
Nisha JamVwal
Tweet Nisha @nishjamvwal


Aradhna said...

Interesting insight! es, today's man is in for the whole package: an attractive packing with loads of understanding, intellect, a listener and contributor to conversations spanning mundane to global concerns, be they economic, political or environmental. And most of all - women with positive self esteem and a great sense of humour.

Ravi said...

It is funny (and strange)how most people only talk about physical attributes turning men off. I feel it is a girls personality that matters equally, if not more (not taking away from the fact that elbows and knees having dry skin can definitely be a turn off) - how long can you just stare at a pretty face? Which is why your article is fantastic because it talks about things like 'superficiality and lack of character', not being able to hold a conversation, going on about how popular they are/were,as being turn-offs, which is so true. Also - couldn't agree more with you on the eating like a bird bit.

Aakar said...

Men want women to be effeminate. That sentiment may be extended in meaning to the female's form, shape, hirsuteness, conversation and intellectual ability, and any other thing.
It is true that this may collapse in the face of an individual woman who has other attractions, but in general the rule is correct.
Breaking this down to specific things -- "I like good skin" or "I like firm flesh" -- makes it appear that these are choices. They're not, for they all come from a shallow perspective: Man's desire for girlie girls.
Another observation on the fondness of men (demonstrated in pornography) for the bald pudenda is an indication of how young they prefer their women. That is a disturbing sign I think and not just an aesthetic one.

Anonymous said...

Don't be like their cigarettes; whr they buy you when they need you and step on you when they finish from you, but be like drugs; they DIE if they don't have you...

to all men out there, if you polish your woman with love, she will shine on you so much so that you will never have to lay an eye on other women.

Mathivanan said...

Excellent researching men and one thing is very clear that it's difficult identify which trait attracted each other for a kick start

mridul said... may be physical attributes that draw a man towards a women...however, in the long run, it is the self respect in a woman that holds the man into her life..a man can never stick with a woman he cannot respect...and that takes into account a whole gamut of qualities which should be innate...counting all the chips and scales,a woman will definitely get the man she deserves...what goes around comes around....

LOHITH said...

Before men had many choices but now women has

Anonymous said...
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raju sagar said...

Hi Nisha how are you, I thing you are singal, and you find a faitfully friend ,,,,,,, otherwise nice photograph,

raju sagar said...

I thing you are wrong about the men because men's are trully friend and life paartners please change your thing,,,,,,,,,,,,,

akilesh shanna rao said...

hi Nisha, would u like 2 date wid me

Kamal Othman said...

Great article

Saurabh said...

All said and done....if a gal has brain, she can impress any the first quality needed is intelligence!!!

Nisha JamVwal Roller Coaster Called Life