Wednesday, February 22, 2012

'I Am In Love' #attraction & #sex Don't Promise Longivity

Being In Love With Being In Love  



Valentines day, Romance, Lust, Passion, Attraction, Cards & Gifts Don't Mean Love & Longevity


It's all such a production and romance is in the air when attractive people are around. Romance is so heady, like a drug, an elixir. Nothing that quite works like a shot in the arm and enervates you to bound to every destination and skip to work as does love. I think the world is in love with the idea of being in love, cards, romance, of the invigorating adrenalin rush and excitement, that makes you want to be your slimmest and best-est, that motivates success, makes you want to jog, to write poetry , to sing.

In the film 'Student of the Year' Alia Bhatt is 'In Love' with Varun Dhawan.  They are rich, attractive, and quite obviously must and should and have to date and conduct a romance!!!


Nothing packages love, sex and romance quite as effectively as Bollywood, and makes a lot of people fantasize love, romance and marriage. But please do remember that real life is different. There are many real issues to consider before getting together for a lifetime, or even just moving in............

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The Bollywood song ‘my dil goes mmmmmm....” so aptly describes the euphoria of being in love. Priety Zinta and Saif Khan walk toward a heady date, humming to themselves, while in a euphoric daze , dreaming of their love and romance. That's exactly why we are in love with the ecstasy of ‘falling’ in love'- seemingly more than us rising , growing and elevating ourselves in love . 
Oftentimes this love is with the most inappropriate person who’s probably just completely inadequate and wrong for us. But because we want to have a partner to go to parties with, meet for dates, long for companionship, we just go head on with the first decent thing that walks into our lives,
and is single.



While it’s all ok to grow with our mistakes and learn and move on, it’s when we cement it into a marriage that we head for disaster. Because marriage is not about valentine hearts, kisses, cakes, whatsapp lovenotes downloaded from the net, sms, facebook, movies, tweets, unending coffees and sweet-nothing-dates. 

Instead marriage is about responsibility, respect, common value systems, longevity, understanding, maturity, a home and being accountable and dependable for our's and ourselves. 

 Seeing each other through the pits and falls, giving hope when your spouse is hopeless, not throwing tantrums when your partner goes through a bad patch, taking stock when your partner is going through a bad health phase and not saying ‘I told you so’ like the Lockhorns when you did tell your spouse that he’d be making a mistake. 

Through life’s innumerable twists and turns my heart too went through tumultuous upheavals at regular intervals, that might have recorded highly on the Richter scale. 
I did manage to clamber out of the quagmire in recognition and disillusionment, seeking, over the rim, the nearest nunnery to enroll into often, but learning along the way that one has to take off the rose tinted heart framed glasses of infatuation,  ardor, attraction, desire and look at a situation more pragmatically for the long term.


And please don't mistake attraction, lust and sex for love and lifetime partnership. They are most often two different ball games. Sex is that gnawing desire for each other, chemistry that is an ingredient in the complete whole. But not the entire whole. So its important in a marriage, but not the be all and end all. An act that takes some time in your day of desire and lovemaking , is not the entire substance of a marriage. 

It happens to the best of us, never mind how beautiful you are, how intelligent, how scintillating, but mistakes of an imagined romance is something none of us is spared from. 

It’s when we can be saved and pull out of the trance in time and spring back that we should count ourselves lucky.


 In life’s arid landscape, most of us have traipsed the path of these oases in a myopic bubble of romance that at closer quarters we recognized for mirages, until hopefully a happy matrimony should bring a ‘happily ever after’. 


So I’m wishing you a delightful romance, but tread with caution and with cautious vision?!

Tweet Nisha On @nishjamvwal
This article was written for and published in The Asian Age & Deccan Chronicle



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Nisha JamVwal Roller Coaster Called Life