Friday, December 18, 2015

Learn To Enjoy Your Friends Success?

Do you take your friends success with happiness? Should envy & competitive spirit be the stuff a friendship is made of?
Maybe growth and maturity is the ability to applaud your friends. They will enjoy your success too! Positive brings positive?

When a woman is able to appreciate another woman, it speaks of self-assurance & inner worth- and I don't mean pouring effusively.  I mean genuine heartfelt celebration of each other! Often people find it easy to praise & be nice to a 'poor thing' or someone where there is agenda & sycophancy. But to applaud and give credit to a triumphant and self-assured person is not easy. No one is too big, too great or too famous to receive appreciation & genuine heartfelt acclaim and it is nice to appreciate and say motivating things to human beings and to be part of their success. You can encourage and bring out the best in your friend rather than allowing envy and jealously take over which has the potential to form a dark cloud that bodes poorly for you and your friendship. Positive affirmation and seeking out the best in someone can transform their lives for the better. It is a power vested in each of us to be that inspiring person in another’s life.

I want to share with you , from personal experience, that friends don’t always you’re your metamorphosis with happiness. They actually sometimes envy even get annoyed at the attention you might garner. Many times you don't accept a childhood friend’s metamorphosis and transformational success. You still want the comfort zone of your awe struck friend. You are uncomfortable with your close friends and family from your childhood days who have transformed into beautiful self-assured beings. You expect them to be as dependent as they probably were or then you enjoyed them leaning upon your shoulder metaphorically and want to enjoy that same addiction.

It is wonderful and wise instead to encourage growth and metamorphosis in your loved ones.  You can actually be an important part of the growth process in your friend and interestingly this pushes your growth too. It’s synergistic. That is the only way to have long term sustainable relationships- to be part of that transformation and encourage and applaud it in your friends and make it happen for you too. Don’t resent it if someone’s overtaken you, because your time will come too and then your friend will be there cheering and enjoying your moment of triumph, transformation and exultation as well.

Once you train yourself to see the good traits in a person you will always find some things to compliment and make their day special. Without realizing it you will be giving yourself something to feel good about. Even acquaintances can be praised, and you have a friend and a bon-homous atmosphere to converse in. This of course does not mean fake compliments to prove points or allow for better networking at work. Being fake and superficial is quite evident, so being smooth and over smart is avoidable. This is about honestly sincerely spreading happiness for yourself and the people you interact with. It takes self-confidence and self-assurance to give praise and receive it.

Every time you put something kind into the universe, your world becomes more happy and enriched! Time Magazine's secrets to happiness has sharing, giving compliments and philanthropy as a top runner- not possessions- dresses-friends- handbags (contrary to popular opinion) so get out there and do something to make someone happy or throw yourself into a cause that drives your heart. Or many causes that set your heart on fire.

 "Connecting with other people and feeling part of something larger than ourselves takes us a long way toward happiness –contrary to popular belief–that money can buy happiness, so long as you spend it on someone other than yourself. Not only will you have made someone else happy, you’ll have made yourself happy too, a happiness buy-one-get-one-free special"
I’d highly recommend that instead of eating into physical space with material belongings be generous for the sake of yourself. And allow others to be generous with you- it's good for the health of their hearts too. 

Give and take is the formation of a bond and a long term relationship. A healthy relationship is based on reciprocity and give and take – where positive affirmations grow and nurture your relationships as opposed to pulling each other down.

Nisha JamVwal

Instagram: nishajamvwal

Sunday, November 22, 2015

Rare Are Those That Care. Life Beyond Herds & Hordes!

Life Beyond Herds & Hordes! 

Bad times
Who doesn’t have them?
Ask me? I know! I’ve had many
Pretty pictures talk lies
They tell untruths to the skies
But what is the truth
Unfurled only by the sleuth
Them that care or then stare!
Laughing together brittle tinkling of glass
Tears in darkness alone alas!
Come out of it stronger in the light
Sparkle after storms
Tougher sunshine nimble bright.

Rare are those that care
Stones galore Gems are rare
Why are we looking everywhere?
Let’s just bother with the Gems
Let’s just hang-on to the rare?
Let’s let go of the frail crackling slate
Hollow flimsy weak and fake.
Let’s go deeper into the night
Out on a limb and into flight
Fly beyond fakeness and the noise
Fly into the conscience and hear the voice
The voice of silence.
The voice of light
The sound of  deep stillness sparkles bright

If you look life squarely in the eye
You’ll see a pastiche of low and high
Troubles, betrayal, pain and angst
A school of wisdom, Fruition, the skies
Evolution happens with every change
Bad or good on life’s shooting range
Stagnancy –the fruit of all that is good
A life of comfort where you idly stood

Jump the hurdles up and above
Gain courage and strength you ideally should
Take experience on- focus, learn
Dive deep within absorb, hone
You are with you! you’re greatest strength
And those few rare ones you choose
In all the noise all the crowd
Spare time for life’s greatest gift of life

Not muddle away in the crowds and herds
Hordes of ‘also rans’, stagnant waters,
Turbid, unclear among the ‘Jonses’.
‘I’m better’ they fought and fraught
Every shiny thing for which they fought
Every gift of gold and diamond they sought
Everything ‘betterer’ and ‘bigger’ they caught
Life frittered away in groups
Carbon copies of each other
Moving in noisy troops
A life spent in aping the hordes
Doing tricks to please jumping hoops
Just to fit into the ‘pack’
Never dared to be different & alone.

You’re better off on your own
Journey on, seek and find
Seek unaided discoverer you!
Seek beyond away from the blind
Unaccompanied look within
Unaccompanied by another’s whim
Inspiration and light is only quiet
Move away from the hoards and din

Strength! go for the divine treasure inside
Fresh unique soundless win
Not mindless material toys
But A universe of boundless joys
Effulgent, liberating wings
Of Freedom from bonding binding things.

Love & Light

Nisha JamVwal

Tweet me @nishjamvwal

Instagram nishajamvwal


Monday, October 5, 2015

My Book Of Life #NishaJamVwal

Life is about GoingOn
Ask Me, I Know...
It busts your chops
It picks up somewhere along the way
& you don't even know when & how it happened
But you're sort of in the game
Getting the plot
& cracking the code

some hiccups,
some halts,
some bluffs,
some faults…
... hurdles teach
you grow & you reach
If all was cushy & calm
there would be no harm
but no sparkle through
carbon comfort
pain & hurt
molds & hones
sticks & stones
sculpt & form
post the storm
a statuesque life
only strife
my master
my guide
I have swum
Against the tide
sunlit island
alone with light
Mountain heights

Clear blue sight
Skies crystal white
Did I even know
Deep inside
It would be this
Life of strife
It works out
In the end
You’ll see
Walk the walk
Talk the talk
Do your thing
Out on a limb
I’m seeing it all
Crystal clear
Sparkling past
All the smoke
It is the truth
Just see it through
The night & fog
And you’ll know
And you’ll see
Your life so clear
Give up this fear
Hold your hand
Youre not alone
You have you

My view
My book of life
I see it clear
I know it now
I have been
To the deep
I tried to swim
I failed I thought
Until I sailed
I did swim
I did walk
I promise you
It’s all so fine
Drink up your wine
You’re at the gate
I’m here come soon
Why wait?

Nisha JamVwal

Friday, July 17, 2015

Love & Lovers! Should There Be Rules To Relationships?


Matchy-match, rules and regulations, discipline- these were things for the older brigade. Growing up I never felt that one should adhere to any regimen or rules. 

Infact I nearly bucked at the thought of such shackles in my life. And yet when I grew up into life’s challenges I realized how valuable it is to work by some basic principles like setting out some guidelines when entering a relationship.

Lovers tiffs, husband- wife spats, mother-daughter quarrels father-son battles or sibling ferocity! Some of the most love-laden relationships as these are, we all know. But we also know that these are also dotted with the most painful and hurtful moments, albeit often very transient. When they happen, good sense seems to have completely fled out of the window. 

The environs are struck as if by thunder and lightning.  Attacks, allegations, bruising words, ego clashes and even temporarily the desire to demolish the other, reign rampant, leaving in their wake tears bruised psyches and wounded souls.  Sometimes the outcome may be enduring or even permanently disruptive. After the winds have blown their course, anger does dissolve and the ego does float back to its accustomed seat. Incredible as it might have seemed, love, hopefully, once more prevails


Saturday, June 27, 2015

Date Night

Date Night

Maybe it was a statement that a friend made- she was surprized at a couple phoning each other during day. Or snide behind -the back comments that I overheard about a couple intimately dining together- 

"Maybe they don't have friends? Or then they surely lack an adequate social circle."

 Is it too extraordinary then to go on a date after you get hitched or married? I mean what happened to all the love and intimacy of the run up to marriage? It happens to an extent  (but not hundred percent) in the Indian context where earlier generations viewed marriage as bringing up children and attending to material advance and  serious family business, wary of the lighter aspects. Perhaps the times demanded it. 

I'm glad to say things are different now, but need for valuable investment and that bonding of two persons as friends and lovers. 

I'd recommend the richer life experience  where a couple need to see an outing  beyond a "social get together" but just as a "together" evening  of leisure time to consciously  savor each other’s company. To rekindle earlier romance or just bond as "best friends". 

I strongly suggest you drop the carryover mind-set from the past that used to go " once you have kids -, as if youth went out with the seven "pheras.  I’d recommend you consciously build on the fun and laughter of the "popcorn an movie" dates.  After all you are as young as your heart is (emotional heart, that is).


Nisha JamVwal Roller Coaster Called Life