Monday, January 2, 2012

Older Women seek younger Lovers.......Aishwarya Bachchan, Madonna, Anjali Tendulkar, Farah Khan's happily ever after!

Older woman seek younger guy relationships!
Younger Man Older Woman Romances, do they work?

Demi More at forty two may have been the poster girl for the older woman younger man (Ashton was twenty seven) syndrome in relationships, and while it didn't turn out successful the bug is catching fire all over the world. 

One-sixth of women in their fifty's, date men  in their forty's and thirty’s and  almost one-third of women between ages 40 and 69 are dating  the more flexible younger men who draw them probably because of that sense of adventure of the more spontaneous, younger men? 

And this equation seems to be working- Aishwarya Rai at 37 is older than Abhishek Bachchan, and Anjali Tendulkar at 44 is much older than her famous cricketer husband Sachin Tendulkar. 

Behind the unleashing of cougars in pop culture is what a growing number of sociologists say is a real demographic shift. In India I think young men these days 'go' for older woman because the 'virginity' bogey has quite evaporated. Situations such as this only  truly happen when one is not looking for it, since the mind was programmed along conventional lines. And then forbidden fruit is always tempting. 

When Bollywood actor Saif married Amrita Singh,  a certain behavior was treated as unacceptable. Over time, views became more liberal and it became acceptable to people. 

But most of all i think it begins as a casual idea of a 'thrill' or challenge  on both sides, untrammeled by the need for commitments of  permanency until things by their own momentum get too deep & intense.

The Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy, reports that couples don't care about 
the gap , only the outside world does. It states that the men are more strongly drawn to to older women because of their sexual expertise, lack of inhibition and after all the idea of a woman who is sexually knowledgeable and passionate is very attractive to a man who gets more hesitant interactions and conditional sexual access from younger women.. 

The Young Sex Drive
Research shows that these women often display formidable sexual prowess and younger men are drawn by the promise of what they have to offer between the sheets. What starts with a physical attraction turns into something intense with the appeal of that confident, assured air about older women.  She doesn't need constant assurance about how she looks, or doesn't require you to stroke her ego. 

Older women tend to bring a wealth of experience with them, both in matters of the head and heart and expectations of a relationship tend to be less complicated, more focused on the emotions and comfort of being together. 

They've been-there-done-that, and can sometimes offer valuable advice to a younger beau on how to conduct himself socially and also in a difficult work situation, or even a career move.

  So do these relationships work? While psycho-analysts do seem to be speaking in favor of this shift,   

I can vouch for the success of those I have witnessed. Unless there is an agenda like monetary reasons a man latches onto a more successful woman older by few years, it is successful more often than not. 

The thing is , any relationship, even a friendship based on agendas and selfishness is bound to crumble, age or no age difference.

 My friend Sonali went  into a younger man  trepidation- "He is a model, he is so attractive..." ten years down they are happy as ever, married with a son. 

The film 'Prime' was a great story of how it works and why! Jehangir the Moughul,  the famous Egyptian queen Cleopatra- annals if examined present many examples of successful older women who make an interested and interesting match with a younger lover.

Nisha JamVwal
Printed in & For Deccan Chronicle & Asian Age


Jhilmil Breckenridge said...

So there is hope for me yet at 44! I love this article and wish you happy new year Nisha!!

@rajeev.akhave said...

This syndrome is proving to be true in this fast jet age. Older woman are getting more n more attracted towards younger men. This could be because of the caring and security they might get from the younger guys around. We will be hearing of more such relationships in the near future.
Liked to read the article. It's awesome. Well done Nishaji

Prashant Parmar said...

1 Maturity and Confidence: The older women bring a sense of maturity and confidence into the relationships. Older Woman has more experience with men and is more stable compared with younger women and men feel more comfortable with them. Young women tend to be more fickle minded compared to mature women. Mature women know what they want and are much responsible in handling relationship. Older women by default bring more life experiences into the relationship and therefore nurture the growth of their partner without trying to be in command of the relationship

2,Intelligent and Confident: People gain more confidence as they grow older. Many young men find older woman attractive as tend to be less superficial. A conversation with an older woman can be interesting and intellectual whereas majority of younger woman tend to be silly, immature and sometimes shallow.

3,Attraction and Love: While some may find it odd that some young man surrounded by girls his age would find an older woman attractive. This is because they many older women are attractive and may even find romance or love in them. How many men can resist 40+ women like Uma Thurman or Mimi Rogers or the Indian actress Maduri Dixit?

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prithvik said...

I can completely relate to your article & the research along with facts shown as once upon a time in my school days I was attracted to my Accounts Teacher & still I am attracted to Older women & the reasons are very similar to the ones you mentioned for me I think women who are older are sensible & very realistic as its because of the bucket of experience they gathered with-in years.

Anonymous said...

what about elder gentleman

rajeev jaiswal said...

it means u have a blank seat for me?

Leonidas Rueda Rueda said...

Nisha las relaciones sentimentales que tuve con mujeres mayores que yo, ellas me llevaban 7, 9 la otra como 2 años o misma edad, fueron relaciones que se dieron sin uno esperar esa relación, cuando me gradue de ingenieria eléctrica, sobretodo el primer noviazgo porque yo venia de estar solo por buen tiempo cuando estaba en la universidad y terminando la carrera estaba asistiendo a un grupo humanista, pequeño que dirigia un amigo, un compañero de estudios de la secundaria, alli conoci a varias personas y entre ellas la que meses despues se convertiria en novia mia, las reuniones los sabados en la tarde y terminando en la noche, me cogio de sorpresa un sabado que se me declaro, como yo venia de estar solo por mucho tiempo y la conocia a ella nos ennoviamos y el noviazgo duro como tres años, como a la mitad del noviazgo fue cuando empezamos a tener relaciones sexuales y muy bonito experimentando cosas nuevas, ella mayor como 7 u 9 años no recuerdo, claro que ella no era experimentada, yo le enseñe y aprendi.

Asi sucedio con los otros dos noviazgos: con una dure tres y medio años, ella separada con hijo, ella bien experimentada, la pasamos muy delicioso, empezamos a tener relaciones desde la segunda salida y la otra como de la misma edad mia o mayor como dos años nos veiamos algunas veces debido a que ella estaba a dos hora y media de donde estaba yo, ella siempre venia a hacer diligencias y a vernos, tambien delicioso, desde este noviazgo no he vuelto ha tener noviazgos duraderos pero si relaciones esporadicas o relaciones que han durado un poco más y que nos vemos esporadicamente por la distancia.

como te ha ido en tus relaciones sentimentales?, has tenido varios noviazgos?, eres soltera, separada, casada o viuda?, tienes hijos?

Nisha JamVwal Roller Coaster Called Life