Sunday, September 25, 2011

Shilpa Shetty on Love, Sex, Late Marriage & Patience!

Am I Leaving It Until Too Late to Get Married?

A long time friend , Shilpa is one of the more real, from the heart people I know. A good friend, loyal and affectionate, she didn't find the right guy to marry for the longest time. 

Have you noticed, especially in India, how girls get panicky when they grow older and worry about being left behind on the shelf? Women all over the world actually begin to despair. 






And friends don't help with comments like "Oh you're not married? Haven't you found anyone you liked? The later it gets the more tough it gets" You often end up thinking 'other girls don't seem to have a problem finding the man of their dreams, why not me? Some women even get married multiple times, and seem to have little or no problem finding men to marry, why not me?"

Women worry and it only makes things worse. It is a viscous cycle where you begin the compromise game and get frustrated and unhappy. It's probably a better idea to get busy with your work, travel and friends than fret. To be independent makes you enjoy life more and become a more fun person to be with in the first place. And trust me, it's better to be single than trapped in a suffocating compromise of a marriage. 

If you've got needs and desires, better to get yourself a partner, than take the plunge for the long term without being sure in your heart. Since when was sex dependent on marriage? 

While Shilpa Shetty was somewhat concerned after her relationship with her Bollywood fiance went kaput, she just went about doing her stuff, working and traveling, when VOILA! out of the blue she met Raj during her 'Big Brother' stint in London. Sparks flew and the rest is history. 

Shilpa Shetty might have despaired at not finding the man she would tie the knot with after breaking her heart in Bollywood with actor Akshay Kumar, but when she met Raj Kundra she just knew this is it. Not only ws she overjoyed at finding ‘The’ man' she was glad that she had waited until the ‘right guy’ had arrived. 

It was only then that she realized that marrying in her thirties was the best thing she could have done . None of us realize in our hurry and panic that late marriages give us more time to grow, be independent find ourselves and make the most of life. 

“I’m way more mature, and when I look back at some of the things I did , or how possessive I have been in relationships I feel marrying late gave me time to be more complete. To see things in a better perspective. It worked out brilliantly, to marry late.”

They say thirty is the new twenty! 
That it’s obsolete to marry in ones early twenties.
 I also feel that there is so much to achieve , so much to savour in this new world of opportunity and experience. To marry young is to invite more responsibility at too young an age. And so many people like Shilpa find that to tie the ‘knot’ just after ones education is like putting a stop to a life of growth and piling up oneself with an existence of responsibility and duty that limits personal development.


Statistics support this argument in the US where divorce rates have dropped to their lowest since 1970, as people wed later in life.  ‘People are taking longer to decide who they'll marry and more are considering financial security’ according to matrimonial lawyers and sociologists. Studies show that more highly educated people tend to marry at an older age. In our globalized economy both have better jobs, and incomes are better when the couple marry late, so there is also less financial strain in marriage.


Time teaches you so much, and you bring those learning’s into a relationship and Shilpa Shetty agrees passionately- “you are less brash than you were and able to handle situations better that when you are young and less secure. I was so much more clingie. If I put myself into a man’s shoes I think back at how irritating I was to deal with. I’m far more calm now and it goes into making my marriage smooth. I’d totally recommend a later marriage in today’s day and age.”

Nisha JamVwal 

Article Published In The Deccan Chronicle & Asian Age

nishjamwal@yahoo.com
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