Do you take your friends success with happiness? Should envy & competitive spirit be the stuff a friendship is made of?
Maybe growth and maturity is the ability to applaud your friends. They will enjoy your success too! Positive brings positive?
When a woman is able
to appreciate another woman, it speaks of self-assurance & inner worth- and
I don't mean pouring effusively. I mean
genuine heartfelt celebration of each other! Often people find it easy to
praise & be nice to a 'poor thing' or someone where there is agenda &
sycophancy. But to applaud and give credit to a triumphant and self-assured a person is not easy. No one is too big, too great, or too famous to receive
appreciation & genuine heartfelt acclaim and it is nice to appreciate and
say motivating things to human beings and to be part of their success. You can
encourage and bring out the best in your friend rather than allowing envy and
jealously take over which has the potential to form a dark cloud that bodes
poorly for you and your friendship. Positive affirmation and seeking out the
best in someone can transform their lives for the better. It is a power vested
in each of us to be that inspiring person in another’s life.
I want to share with you, from personal experience, that friends don’t
always you’re your metamorphosis with happiness. They actually sometimes envy
even get annoyed at the attention you might garner. Many times you don't accept
a childhood friend’s metamorphosis and transformational success. You still want
the comfort zone of your awestruck friend. You are uncomfortable with your
close friends and family from your childhood days who have transformed into
beautiful self-assured beings. You expect them to be as dependent as they
probably were or then you enjoyed them leaning upon your shoulder
metaphorically and want to enjoy that same addiction.
It is wonderful and wise instead to encourage growth and
metamorphosis in your loved ones. You
can actually be an important part of the growth process in your friend and interestingly
this pushes your growth too. It’s synergistic. That is the only way to have
long term sustainable relationships- to be part of that transformation and
encourage and applaud it in your friends and make it happen for you too. Don’t
resent it if someone’s overtaken you because your time will come too and then
your friend will be there cheering and enjoying your moment of triumph,
transformation, and exultation as well.
Once you train yourself to see the good traits in a person you will
always find some things to compliment and make their day special. Without
realizing it you will be giving yourself something to feel good about. Even
acquaintances can be praised, and you have a friend and a bonhomous atmosphere
to converse in. This, of course, does not mean fake compliments to prove points
or allow for better networking at work. Being fake and superficial is quite
evident, so being smooth and over smart is avoidable. This is about honestly sincerely
spreading happiness for yourself and the people you interact with. It takes
self-confidence and self-assurance to give praise and receive it.
Every time you put something kind into the universe, your world
becomes happier and enriched! Time Magazine's secrets to happiness have
shared- giving compliments and philanthropy as a top runner- not possessions-
dresses-friends- handbags (contrary to popular opinion) so get out there and do
something to make someone happy or throw yourself into a cause that drives your
heart. Or many causes that set your heart on fire.
"Connecting with other
people and feeling part of something larger than ourselves takes us a long way
toward happiness –contrary to popular belief–that
money can buy happiness, so long as you spend it on someone other than
yourself. Not only will you have made someone else happy, but you’ll also have made
yourself happy too, a happiness buy-one-get-one-free special"
I’d highly recommend
that instead of eating into physical space with material belongings be generous
for the sake of yourself. And allow others to be generous with you- it's good
for the health of their hearts too.
Give and take is the formation of a bond
and a long term relationship. A healthy relationship is based on reciprocity
and give and take – where positive affirmations grow and nurture your
relationships as opposed to pulling each other down.
Nisha JamVwal
Tweet @nishjamvwal
Instagram: nishajamvwal
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