There's Hope For All Of You Who're Picky....
We had nearly given up on Raageshwari. It was so many years and she didn't look like she was in a hurry to get married, and wasn't getting any younger as you can imagine. It’s also sometimes a little tough to be a girl in India, I mean there is pressure to marry early and how do you hold out until you’re certain you wish to walk the aisle? These were my thoughts as I reminisced the days before she had met her beau, as I sat in the 'pandal' (the wedding canopy) looking at Sudhanshu and Raageshwari.
They looked into each other’s eyes dreamily while doing the phera’s- the wedding ceremony- at some two in the morning. We were throwing flowers on the couple, and I was trying to calculate Rag’s age, 40 something I was guessing? So quite obviously there was pressure to walk the aisle?
Today, happily married, sipping tea in her swanky London apartment Raag's shares “I always truly took pressure
very lovingly as I know that the thought is well intended. I took relationships
very seriously and knew in my heart that I will surely find someone who will
synergise with my sensibilities.”
“It’s interesting that I
participated in Bigg Boss to give a boost to my career (Or so I thought) And as
fate would have it, my email and phone was flooded only with marriage
proposals. So I’m glad that people wanted me to get married and thought I’d
make a good wife. Now I’m happy to be The MRS !!”
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“Some of us have the inner
instinct or extra strength to say NO when a proposal is offensive or impolite.
While sadly, some women give in, due to pressures, strife or some personal battle.
I pray in gratitude that I simply had the wisdom or vision to know better. I
feel the girls who have had to struggle or resort to the casting couch are
brave too. I know for sure that they may have immense pain within on a daily
basis.”%2BWith%2BKabir%2BBedi.jpg)
“I did not date casually, I was
happily single and everyone who met me knew this. I ‘chose’ not to worry about
the absence of someone. But, the moment I started my communication with
Sudhanshu over our first email. His words, his finesse, his refined
sensibilities and his humility, immediately made me want to be his companion.”What did Rag’s want in a man I probe as I tuck into the mix berry cheesecake, smiling at her idealistic observations?
“I should simply look up to him. I should know that he is someone who I’d love to be like, kind at all levels. When he is hearing you, he is totally with you, he is happy to speak softly and smile. So I’m humbled and overwhelmed at every minute being with my husband.”
So it was a long distance relationship to start with, which I've seen to be more challenging. Raageshwari however seemed to pull it off and it all ended in a ‘happily ever after’.
Sudhanshu and I met over emails. Long
distance relationships can flourish too if you’re ‘800 years old’ like we are”.
(We laugh together at this). “As long as there is a plan to move forward, there
is a vision, there is a goal. Sudhanshu and me emailed for months, I asked him
to wait and enjoy this courtship of words. Then he flew down to meet me.
But there was growth,
consistency, patience, immense respect and trust. So if the foundation is
strong, a long distance courtship can work!
Today we’re married and we choose
not to be away from each other. So I don’t recommend a relationship that’s long
distance. Get together and bring beauty
into each other’s life.
Rag’s shifted lock stock and
barrel to London, and I’m sure it must have been tough. Especially since she’s
so attached to her brother, father and mother. “It does require great
discipline and of course great love to make the shift. I was just very happy to
follow my man to London and he follows me emotionally. So there is a spiritual
balance.”
Nisha JamVwal
@nishjamvwal
instagram @nishajamvwal
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