Saturday, April 5, 2014

Diana Hayden's Wedding Bells

Why Diana Hayden Didnt Go The Bollywood Way

At a crowded pre-holi party last evening, I was speaking with a smiling , unrealistically obliging and ingratiating socialite. - I wondered what made her come across so artificially polite and phoney. It was the dearth of something real, genuine, from the heart. That special something which differentiates the tangible from the sham is that warmth reflecting within the light inside the eyes. 

Suddenly then Diana Hayden breezed in. And 
when I say breezed I mean breezed in. Like a relief factor from the painfully put on fare Bombay sometimes offer's especially in the air-kissing lot. 

To put you upto speed, Diana won Femina Miss India in 1997, crowned Miss World 1997. I thought to myself, ‘this is the real thing’. Shes always from the heart –what –you-see–is-what–you–get. Nothing changes her, not the great highs nor the sometime lows. And anyway, which of us doesn't go through the lows?

So what actually kept Diana differently real and fun to hang out with? I mean she's belonged to the glamour industry. Diana told me her tale over one of our long coffee sessions. Would you believe it, I didn't know she was from Hydrabad. The daughter of a plumber, her mother is a teacher. An ordinary home, where her parents split up when she was merely thirteen.  She had to leave school to fend for herself to take up a job and work  really hard "I worked as a receptionist, a telephone operator, I held at least fifteen jobs. Life was very basic. Our foundation of education was good so that while I might have been an eighth drop out I always got books as Christmas presents, read a lot and I turned into a curious romantic person.”

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“At twenty three, a friend forced me to send my pictures to Miss India. The rest is history. I represented India in Miss World and not only won but was the highest title winner in the history of India.”

“I am living proof of a person who is realistic and practical as well as a die-hard romantic. I’ve read so many mills and boons. Even my mother read mills and boons. I knew none of the men I met were right for me. True to my birth sign I have a lot of clarity (Diana is a Taurean like me. Now I know why she seemed so close a connection.) . As much as I’m a career woman, to me the most important thing in life over everything else is love and happiness.”

It was just last year that Diana met the man of her dreams while she meant to lease her apartment before leaving for the US where she was relocating to work.

 “When looking for a man everyone is looking for something different. For me it was never about the age, money, height, looks , I was very clear that value systems and core values have to be the same. Looks will fade, the body will not stay toned forever, you get ill, and the money can dwindle. I need a mental connect, I need to feel safe.”

Had Diana’s parent’s divorce made her sceptical about marriage? “My parents loved eachother, but over the period of time, I realized that that was obviously not enough. When we fall in love, before we make the decision, over and above our love we have to make sure our core values are the same. I was never trepidatious about marriage . I told myself every night that not every marriage ends like this. I waited so long to get married.” Diana turned forty when she finally took the plunge last year.

An interesting vignette is that Colin came as a prospective tenant who was to rent her apartment before she left for the US. “We shook hands and I left for the states. It was like a jig-saw fitting into place on its own accord. We became friends. Our chats over the phone became longer and longer. And then what started as chats of a few minute every day onto hours.” Mustve been an expensive courtship from America to here? Or maybe they scyped?!!

 Another important ingredient in a relationship is appreciation, things like ‘thank you’, ‘please’, ‘excuse me’, ‘I’m sorry’-we tend to stop using these words when we get comfortable. That is the beginning of a big mistake - 
You have to stop in your tracks and take a reality check”! 

Diana and Colin had a fairy tale wedding at Las Vegas, bride’s maid’s and all, and are enjoying the ‘happily ever after’.


Nisha JamVwal is a celebrity columnist and luxury consultant.

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