Disillusionment is ok
- flawed
humans become exceptional with strife, trial and coming through tough times! " Nisha JamVwal
Going through a tough relationship, difficult times, harsh words is very painful, and one feels wrenched.
Yes I know, when we go through hell and back,
it does not feel like the time to hear philosophy. We feel terrible and nothing
anyone might learnedly espouse works. Infact long lectures make you feel worse. You need space. Life seems awful and you feel like
socking anyone who decides to be holier than thou -giving you all this lofty
advice.
It is my opinion, after going through trials and troughs myself that
life is like school. We come into the world to grow and deal and become into
better human beings and this can only happen when we pass though troubled
moments. Most painful of these being not physical pain but issues that stem
from painful relationships with lovers, parents, friends and siblings. Most
people do go through ups and downs in relationships, loss and pain. The smarter
ones learn and grow from the strife.
Indian philosophy says that you come
to the world
empty handed, and when you die you leave empty handed, assuming of course that there is a soul that outlasts it all and is forever. There is no proof for any of this, but we have to go with a gut feel.
empty handed, and when you die you leave empty handed, assuming of course that there is a soul that outlasts it all and is forever. There is no proof for any of this, but we have to go with a gut feel.
My instinct through
life has been that when all hell breaks loose then there is some major learning
we’ve had from it. Or when a relationship turns sour then there is something to
be learnt from it and something better waiting right around the corner. I have
to confide that it's usually been the case that something better has happened
immediately after, not even too far in the future. If you look at it logically
, when we go to the gym to work out our muscles we are healthier and stronger.
In the same vein when we work out our soul through rapids and troughs we
en-strengthen and grow the soul! 
Even at a practical level if
you set aside matters of the divine and the soul, the wisdom, knowledge and bandwidth one
accumulates with hardship, experience and emotional trauma is invaluable. You
just know how to deal with life than be an ignorant milk sop who was sheltered
and thought life was about designer shoes and first class air travel.
Natural calamity like landslides,
storm, tsunami’s teach us all that life is fragile and anything can happen
anytime, anywhere. Look at the ‘paradise’ that is Kashmir and what its people
have been facing and are going through. We tend to easily forget the temporal
nature of existence and how in the flickering of an eye we can lose one’s
parents , friends, friendships, material possessions and go from king to
pauper, or from a rambling loving family to solitude and loss.
The transitory
nature of life never escapes me- at how fragile is human life and how much we
take it and the ones we love for granted -the sooner we realize how precious a
gift is every special relationship and every healthy second is the moment we
will exult in every living second and also have more humility and tolerance!
It’s this very ephemeral nature of existence that might even teach us to be
grateful for what we’ve got. Life is transient. We have limited time here and
the sooner we value it
all and celebrate it the happier we’ll be.
Shakespeare would agree- we are all
here to up our game, learn the ropes, become wise, experience
experiences, learn right from wrong after committing both good and bad, experiencing
everything and going through myriad scenarios- because only when we go though
it all , the good and the bad can we become wise, learn, understand, grow and
metamorphose?
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Email your questions to nishajamvwal@gmail.com
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