Thursday, December 4, 2014

Dealing With Disillusionment & Disappointment

"Poetry and light come from challenging situations
Disillusionment is ok
- flawed humans become exceptional with strife, trial and coming through tough times! " Nisha JamVwal

Going through a tough relationship, difficult times, harsh words is very painful, and one feels wrenched. 

Yes I know, when we go through hell and back, it does not feel like the time to hear philosophy. We feel terrible and nothing anyone might learnedly espouse works. Infact long lectures make you feel worse. You need space. Life seems awful and you feel like socking anyone who decides to be holier than thou -giving you all this lofty advice.

 It is my opinion, after going through trials and troughs myself that life is like school. We come into the world to grow and deal and become into better human beings and this can only happen when we pass though troubled moments. Most painful of these being not physical pain but issues that stem from painful relationships with lovers, parents, friends and siblings. Most people do go through ups and downs in relationships, loss and pain. The smarter ones learn and grow from the strife.  

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Indian philosophy says that you come to the world 
empty handed, and when you die you leave empty handed, assuming of course that there is a soul that outlasts it all and is forever. There is no proof for any of this, but we have to go with a gut feel. 

My instinct through life has been that when all hell breaks loose then there is some major learning we’ve had from it. Or when a relationship turns sour then there is something to be learnt from it and something better waiting right around the corner. I have to confide that it's usually been the case that something better has happened immediately after, not even too far in the future. If you look at it logically , when we go to the gym to work out our muscles we are healthier and stronger. In the same vein when we  work out our soul through rapids and troughs we en-strengthen and grow the soul!

 Even at a practical level if you set aside matters of the divine and the soul,  the wisdom, knowledge and bandwidth one accumulates with hardship, experience and emotional trauma is invaluable. You just know how to deal with life than be an ignorant milk sop who was sheltered and thought life was about designer shoes and first class air travel.

Natural calamity like landslides, storm, tsunami’s teach us all that life is fragile and anything can happen anytime, anywhere. Look at the ‘paradise’ that is Kashmir and what its people have been facing and are going through. We tend to easily forget the temporal nature of existence and how in the flickering of an eye we can lose one’s parents , friends, friendships, material possessions and go from king to pauper, or from a rambling loving family to solitude and loss. 

The transitory nature of life never escapes me- at how fragile is human life and how much we take it and the ones we love for granted -the sooner we realize how precious a gift is every special relationship and every healthy second is the moment we will exult in every living second and also have more humility and tolerance! 
It’s this very ephemeral nature of existence that might even teach us to be grateful for what we’ve got. Life is transient. We have limited time here and the sooner we value it 
all and celebrate it the happier we’ll be.

Shakespeare would agree- we are all here to up our game, learn the ropes, become wise, experience experiences, learn right from wrong after committing both good and bad, experiencing everything and going through myriad scenarios- because only when we go though it all , the good and the bad can we become wise, learn, understand, grow and metamorphose? 

Shakespeare it was who had said “All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players”

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Nisha JamVwal Roller Coaster Called Life