Sunday, November 16, 2014

Manisha Koirala on #Life, #Relationships, #Marriage & Internal Growth


A few days ago at lunch with a friend, I noticed how my friend teased her tiny little daughter about her wedding one day -when she’d grow up. The little child delightedly beamed.

A girl’s marriage is a monumental life event, especially in India. Dont ask me why.. I definitely don't agree, its just the way it is, especially in India. - It’s nearly as if her whole life until that red letter day is a preparation for finding the right man, choosing from among friends and acquaintances and then the actual act of marrying him.

 Less so in this day and age maybe, but definitely one of the most important happenings in a girl’s life. This is what actor, confidant and dear friend Manisha Koirala and I discussed over a coffee yesterday when she revealed that this very quest for a soul mate unraveled some unvisited, rare areas of her own personal journey and realities about her own self to her. I realized post my chat that Manisha is even more lovely within, which is what I've known for a long time, but moreso after I heard what she had to say. 
Manisha’s eyes, reflective pools of myriad expression speak to me as she shares “My search for my soul mate led me to myself. When I was young, I was commitment phobic and as time passed by I grew more curious about my purpose. As work lessened and I had more time to think, I saw most of my friends and family happily married, nurturing and growing up their kids.

There was this increasing insecurity of landing up all alone in my old age.
No husband, no children, no grandchildren!
Until the time that I realized there may be no tomorrow. I was told I had cancer.”

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Life situations of this sort change the entire complexion of existence. You look at everything from a different perspective. Manisha realized life is more than what it appears to be. And relationships go deeper than what we see them as. We have to be what we desire in others and make a relationship beautiful by transforming our own reaction.

“Everything changed in the blink of an eye. I see, feel and experience life differently. Earlier I was looking for my soul mate (different perceptions for different people) now I look for honest, soulful interactive bonding.  I’m super sensitive about being honest as I believe strongly that we should not play with any other human beings emotions. God knows what's going on in their lives.”

“When I set about my search for a soul mate I began to be aware of the qualities I wished in the other person. What was I seeking? The answer is quite simple for me.  Honesty, great chemistry, spiritual leanings -someone who has done self-work,  a person satisfied with his work  and keen to achieve higher goals and lastly and most importantly a  great friend whom I can talk about just anything and  laugh a lot with.
After years of researching I have realized that we attract who and what we are. How many of us are willing to change?”

“We always attract what we fear or are trying to hide in our selves. So if one meets a man who cheats, there is something in us that is pointing a finger, not only to the other person but us. So when we seek a special partner in life we do need to look within  ourselves critically.” Tumultuous relationships Manisha suggests are beautiful opportunities to ask deeper questions and explore hidden messages.

“It’s so easy and satisfying to blame others. It’s true that people can wrong you in a relationship, and it’s also good to end a bad relationship….” but Manisha’s message is quintessentially that introspection is most important to have a happy and mutually respectful relationship. We really need to evaluate not only our partner or spouse but also ourselves. That’s the key toward everlasting love.
Manisha Koirala who has played protagonist in many a love story, and lived the life of many a lover in the myriad #bollywood roles she has essayed strongly feels that if you see warning signals of a bad relationship, don’t go through with it so that you never have to never have to experience a difficult time" and yes I wholeheartedly agree. Just go it alone, you don't need a crutch or an appendage which pulls you down, hurts you and makes you cow tow than soar! 

Nisha JamVwal

INSTAGRAM ME nishajamvwal

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