Saturday, January 25, 2014

Shashi Tharoor's 'Friendship's repercussions on Sunanda Pushkar's Life & Her Mysterious Death

What repercussions did Shashi Tharoor’s ‘Friendship’ have?

In an email to Shashi Tharoor, Meher Tarar says feelingly-" I guess I was right all my life. Friendship between a man and a woman will always be labelled incorrectly and even the woman who's the love of your life will doubt your word against very circumstantial evidence" 

To which Shashi replied that he'd been asked by Sunanda Pushkar to not be in touch with Tarar anymore. "I hope you will understand and forgive me if I stop our phone and email exchanges" he said.

 The events that followed spelled disaster for Shashi Tharoor, who quite obviously was unable to stop communication with Tarar despite his best intentions. I remember the few times I met them, they had looked so happy and engaged with each other. For a third marriage for both, it was delightful to see such a youngster like romance and attraction. Also shows how deceptive appearances can be, and how easily their relationship became prey to suspicion, acrimony and the forbidden apple of Shashi's 'friendship' with the opposite sex. Today months after Sunanda's 'demise' there is no clarity as to the reason of her death, the aplrax placed on her bedside is not present in her blood say the tests conducted to unearth the reason of her untimely death. So were the strips placed there for a reason?

In 'Hum Tum' Saif Ali Khan and Rani Mukherjee have an interesting exchange about the friendship between a man and a woman? Or then 'When Harry Met Sally' Meg Ryan argues with Billy Crystal about the possibility of a platonic friendship between the two sexes.
It might indeed be possible but with the Democlese sword of sex, attraction, lust, chemistry always hanging on the head of the friendship- ready to take it into another dimension anytime. And so it is that a man woman friendship is like a diet which can anytime give into the forbidden chocolate 

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gateaux, throw in the towel in a moment of laxness and often with destructive complications later.

Especially when there are already dangers of matrimonial parameters being misunderstood. The fatal point is that this is like hurtling into Alice's tunnel where the parties cannot or do not really restrain or don't even wish to control themselves.

With married people there is often regret in getting involved because they actually love their spouses and don't wish to derail their well ensconced relationship at all for some moments of pleasure. Especially men don't wish for discord or to disrupt their homes but women most often cannot bear another woman I the equation. Salim Khan, Salma and Helen are a rare case of friendship, tolerance. 

I personally believe that if you wish to be married and are committed then marriage is about loyalty, commitment and happiness of the partner. But times are a changing. Contemplation does not seen to be a part of impending consequences. 

Self-gratification both with women and men is a dissolving phenomenon. Divorces are becoming the way taken in the face of any disquiet. 

It used to be that you work at mending things than discard them for new. 

It's a personal belief that you should quit while you're ahead and not tempt fate. If there is a chance of a friendship going the affair way don't even go that route. Keep your wife in the loop always and try to avoid solitary meetings to avoid temptation. The holier than thou self-confidence of not ever 'being the kind' may not work at all and many a slip twist the cup and the lip! 

All I can say is that it is luck and destiny and rare broad-mindedness amidst the partners that might let the ideal situation of man woman and a friend of the opposite sex survive however well-meaning the intent. 

-But maybe the man’s grand aunt could be his lady friend, the rest are all open to hazards and human frailties. Mankind’s downfall from paradise began after-all with giving into the bite of the apple.

NISHA JAMVWAL is a luxury brand consultant, columnist and Interior Architect
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