Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Hrithik Roshan's Mum In Law's GivesLife Tips- What Do You Do When Your Husband Is Involved In An Affair?

Survival, Triumph & Life Tips with Zarine Khan

Sanjay Khan’s wife, Hrithik Roshan’s mum-in- law, Zayed Khan's mother- all that she might be, but all that comes later. Zarine Khan was a model and became a personality in her own right over the years. An entrepreneur of repute, despite all odds that come with being a Bollywood wife (often).

I’d always noticed how she stood apart from the noise, metaphorically speaking. Even in those times, in his zenith, when Sanjay Khan was preoccupied with strong pulls and hazards of the kind notorious to Bollywood, it is said that she held her own with dignity. Surprizingly Zarine stayed self assured, never insecure.  What is it that gave her succor when most women would crumble with fear of their future, insecurities, self doubt and pain?

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“I was most confident. People used to look at me and wonder how I’m self-possessed through that rough patch. An attractive woman myself, I was pregnant with our fourth child. Yes I was hurt within, but I never allowed it to show. I took all the positive energy I could garner and moved it into my career. Somehow I never doubted that I was my husbands soul mate” shares Zarine with fire, who had focused on her Interior career and kept the family happy and secure in those times. She had never allowed herself the luxury of self-pity and told herself that it was a passing phase- and that's how it turned out, isn’t it?

Zarine had given up her modelling career for the marriage. She was not going to quit the marriage but instead work it for her kids, her home, her fortress. “My husband was a conservative man. He had told me at the outset, its either the glamour world or me. I’d chosen him back when being an actor was only a dream he nurtured. I abided by the rules even when he had strayed.” 

The worst ever fear for any married woman is often the discovery that her husband is straying. That is a major cause for separation and divorce, but I strongly feel it doesn’t have to be that way. Why not instead take time out, regroup, give your man space, peruse your own dreams and respond appropriate to your own decisions once you have distanced your self from the occurrence. Look at the larger picture in relation to what you want. Decisions are often relative to children, monetary conditions or even your own emotions vis your husband.

Zarine feels certain that ninety-nine percent of marriages go through fractures with partner’s dalliances. Some fall apart, some become stronger and move on buoyantly. Hers was the latter. Her survival and triumph must then be a lesson to all women out there who write in to me, asking about survival tips for this upheaval in their lives...........

“No crying for me. Instead I wore six inch heels to keep my stature and just made sure I kept a happy home, happy atmosphere without scenes or unpleasantness. I never allowed space for insecurities to enter my mind. I strongly believe in the cliché  that if you love someone you set them free. If they’re yours they come back. And Sanjay did” she declares with a twinkle. “Lots of time has passed since , but the rules stay the same. A man most often comes back to his family and I’d still advise all women to hold on keep the faith.”

 “Ups and downs occur in all our lives.  Our worst test was the fire on the sets of Tipu Sultan where Sanjay suffered monumental burns and fifty people died on the sets. We’ve gone through so much. Put me in a ditch and I’ll come out, because I have that will to survive for my family. We are like an Italian family that meet very often, shout, hug, bond. Only Zahid’s wife doesn't talk on top of her voice like we do at family get together s . We are twenty two of us, all speaking at the same time, all very attached to each other, all who have come through together, closer after lifes every challenge that we've faced, giving strength to each other.  We are very close.” Today they are a rambling happy family of twenty, in the immediate circle of her four kids and her grand kids.

Life is what you make of it. It’s not meant to be perfect, you've got to make it perfect. Work at it. When you get depressed, create little tricks to get out of the rut”, motivates Zarine. 

“I open up fashion magazines or clean up all my cupboards. It keeps my mind preoccupied. The trick I’d say, is to always keep yourself busy, focus on only the positive and not allow negative thoughts to enter your space."

 Negative thoughts only make you more negative.

Nisha JamVwal nishajamvwal@gmail.com

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