Monday, January 28, 2013

What is Love, Romance, Dating, Attraction and Sex

Is There Something Called True Love?

Love can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. In today’s age of instancy, chats, ‘crack kick’s’ with orgies it may mean a transient sexual encounter that comes and goes, poof! -Before you know it your in -out - disoriented - disillusioned. And to regroup you’ve jumped into another quagmire. The urge for heady stimulation is just that. A need for adrenalin rush.

I’ve always viewed love however, as a timeless ethereal fragrance that lingers, warms, gives meaning to moments and stays with me forever. 

For a parent, a friend , a lover or an army for its General. Like a glow, that enlivens, especially enervating in those bleak moments that I’ve often seen in a life of troughs and triumphs. 


For a spouse , the desire to meet, hang out and be with each other, without crowding the space with people always, but being in one-ness and companionship and friendship, through life's challenges.

Love comes in various avtaars. For my neighbour whom I want to meet, despite time constraints and no common social connectivity, my friends who make me want to make them laugh with weird stories- even at my cost, my terrier puppy who makes me want to squeeze him and eat him up with violent passionate love, my parents who draw the strings of my heart to near pain, my man, who brings that feeling of effulgence, luminosity and sunshine into my every moment.

When love is intertwined with romance and attraction it is that heady mix of magic that gives wings to your feet and makes you smile every time you think of your loved one. Countless movies, paintings, poems, songs have embalmed and eulogized this high note in an otherwise tough ‘womb to tomb’ journey. It is indeed love that makes the world go round. Not gravity and planetary orbits. Look at it objectively- Without love life is a mundane machinery of ingestion, defecation, ejaculation, with empty notes and moments that fill a careworn existence. The x-factor that takes it to another orbit of ‘high’ is the very impractical love.

My friend asked me on the brink of her supposed romance, “Nisha, How will I know if I am in Love”? She tried hard to contrive the situation because she so longed to be in love with the right man, who gave her the right solitaire, who lived near her parental home, who was rich and not too famous or too tall and wore the right brands. Who just did everything ‘right’. Pretty much like fitting the right sofa into the right corner of the house. Inanimate and lifeless but perfectly fitting and ‘looking’ so ‘right’. She did find him, near her parental home, married him, had babies, does ‘kitties’ and lunches and her high notes are the diamonds and bags she brandishes at the ‘kitties’. To that I’d say different strokes for different folks. We all get our happiness from different types of ‘Loves’.

To me Love is buying an impractical painting because you react to it, you cannot imagine another moment of life without it, and it’s in-affordable, and you don’t have wall space in a city apartment, and it’s something you don’t really ‘need’ nor really understand, but react to- it hits you in your gut and you just HAVE to have it or nothing will ever be the same for you ever again.

When you’re most busy to engage in a romance, or too ambitious , love just happens,  -nature and life and THE man sweep you off your feet. Impractically, untimely, un ‘scheduled ly’ you fall in love . No it’s not a Yash Chopra romance. No its not Madhuri Dixit and Shah Rukh Khan in ‘Dil To Pagal Hai’. It’s real life and I quote Yash jee who was a great friend, who had shared with me that he really did believe that there is someone out there for every one. Some special romance for each of us. We just have to see it when it happens. When  you least expect it, love comes in like the Twister and just swirls you within it and sweeps you away from all ‘plans’, ‘strategy’ and take you into the clichéd heady romance that Yash Chopra gave life to on celluloid. And when it happens you have to give it its meaning with your value systems and longevity and staying power. 

So on a happy loving note  for 2013 I wish all my readers much love for the new year. 

Nisha JamVwal
Written For & Published in Deccan Chronicle & Asian Age

Tweet her on @nishjamvwal
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Nisha JamVwal Roller Coaster Called Life