Monday, January 28, 2013

What is Love, Romance, Dating, Attraction and Sex



Is There Something Called True Love?

Love can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. In today’s age of instancy, chats, ‘crack kick’s’ with orgies it may mean a transient sexual encounter that comes and goes, poof! -Before you know it your in -out - disoriented - disillusioned. And to regroup you’ve jumped into another quagmire. The urge for heady stimulation is just that. A need for adrenalin rush.

I’ve always viewed love however, as a timeless ethereal fragrance that lingers, warms, gives meaning to moments and stays with me forever. 

For a parent, a friend , a lover or an army for its General. Like a glow, that enlivens, especially enervating in those bleak moments that I’ve often seen in a life of troughs and triumphs. 

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For a spouse , the desire to meet, hang out and be with each other, without crowding the space with people always, but being in one-ness and companionship and friendship, through life's challenges.

Love comes in various avtaars. For my neighbour whom I want to meet, despite time constraints and no common social connectivity, my friends who make me want to make them laugh with weird stories- even at my cost, my terrier puppy who makes me want to squeeze him and eat him up with violent passionate love, my parents who draw the strings of my heart to near pain, my man, who brings that feeling of effulgence, luminosity and sunshine into my every moment.

When love is intertwined with romance and attraction it is that heady mix of magic that gives wings to your feet and makes you smile every time you think of your loved one. Countless movies, paintings, poems, songs have embalmed and eulogized this high note in an otherwise tough ‘womb to tomb’ journey. It is indeed love that makes the world go round. Not gravity and planetary orbits. Look at it objectively- Without love life is a mundane machinery of ingestion, defecation, ejaculation, with empty notes and moments that fill a careworn existence. The x-factor that takes it to another orbit of ‘high’ is the very impractical love.

My friend asked me on the brink of her supposed romance, “Nisha, How will I know if I am in Love”? She tried hard to contrive the situation because she so longed to be in love with the right man, who gave her the right solitaire, who lived near her parental home, who was rich and not too famous or too tall and wore the right brands. Who just did everything ‘right’. Pretty much like fitting the right sofa into the right corner of the house. Inanimate and lifeless but perfectly fitting and ‘looking’ so ‘right’. She did find him, near her parental home, married him, had babies, does ‘kitties’ and lunches and her high notes are the diamonds and bags she brandishes at the ‘kitties’. To that I’d say different strokes for different folks. We all get our happiness from different types of ‘Loves’.

To me Love is buying an impractical painting because you react to it, you cannot imagine another moment of life without it, and it’s in-affordable, and you don’t have wall space in a city apartment, and it’s something you don’t really ‘need’ nor really understand, but react to- it hits you in your gut and you just HAVE to have it or nothing will ever be the same for you ever again.

When you’re most busy to engage in a romance, or too ambitious , love just happens,  -nature and life and THE man sweep you off your feet. Impractically, untimely, un ‘scheduled ly’ you fall in love . No it’s not a Yash Chopra romance. No its not Madhuri Dixit and Shah Rukh Khan in ‘Dil To Pagal Hai’. It’s real life and I quote Yash jee who was a great friend, who had shared with me that he really did believe that there is someone out there for every one. Some special romance for each of us. We just have to see it when it happens. When  you least expect it, love comes in like the Twister and just swirls you within it and sweeps you away from all ‘plans’, ‘strategy’ and take you into the clichéd heady romance that Yash Chopra gave life to on celluloid. And when it happens you have to give it its meaning with your value systems and longevity and staying power. 



So on a happy loving note  for 2013 I wish all my readers much love for the new year. 

Nisha JamVwal
Written For & Published in Deccan Chronicle & Asian Age

Tweet her on @nishjamvwal
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Email Nisha at nishjamwal@yahoo.com

12 comments:

Saurabh said...

And I must admit that I totally love the way u write!!! Nicely written...as some movie's tagline...LOVE HAPPENS...

Also, ur pic wid Yash ji and the one in blue are amazing!!! Beautiful and hot!!!

Anuja said...

Very heart warmingly written. I really like the part about the friend who found her perfect man. As rightfully said people have different perceptions of love, some people may feel a persons wealth, social status etc shouldnt play such importance when falling in love but really its no ones place to force those views on other people, just respect them for what they believe

With me I always thought the falling in love part would hit me at first sight, kind of like in the movies. Instead i ended up falling for the person slowly and surely. We do have our ups and downs but overall I wouldnt change him for anything. Today if i ever spot a good looking guy and still find myself thinking about my partner and smiling, thats when i know it truly is love.

Prasad Bidapa said...

Nisha writes with sensitivity and passion about life, love and longing. For every generation,love seems to reinterpret itself and Nisha sums up the current zeitgist with sharp observations and a deep understanding on the Nature of Love!

Anonymous said...

what can i say.. you have kinda summed it all up Nisha.. the different kinds of love that people seek, perceive, and receive.. So apt and so right now :)
After all all we need is love... well kinda ;-)

Meenakshi Kuwadekar said...

what can i say.. you have kinda summed it all up Nisha.. the different kinds of love that people seek, perceive, and receive.. So apt and so right now :)
After all all we need is love... well kinda ;-)

shail gulhati said...

Nice! singing from your heart,and it shows :)
I think the first half of the write is a tribute you wanted to give out importantly to some, including the army generals who are loved by their men.
Love.Ah, the one word that volumes have been written about, lives have been lied and lost, and yet the Enigma promises to hold, and hold the mystery of the Universe together!
i like that you have reminded us about the broad spectrum that loe is, for it is everything! and i love it when, coming to loe as we think of it mostly, you say "When love is intertwined with romance and attraction it is that heady mix of magic that gives wings to your feet ". yep. what more can be said Ms Jamvwal? :)
thank you for sharing.

shail gulhati said...

sorry too many typos in my post!
read this:
Nice! singing from your heart,and it shows :)
I think the first half of the write is a tribute you wanted to give out importantly to some, including the army generals who are loved by their men.
Love.Ah, the one word that volumes have been written about, lives have been lived and lost, and yet the Enigma promises to hold, and hold the mystery of the Universe together!
i like that you have reminded us about the broad spectrum that love is, for it is everything! and i love it when, coming to love as we think of it mostly, you say "When love is intertwined with romance and attraction it is that heady mix of magic that gives wings to your feet ". yep. what more can be said Ms Jamvwal? :)
thank you for sharing.

NISHA JAMVWAL said...

@Saurabh, yes love totally happens, and thank you for lovely compliments @Anuja you always warm my heart with your own warmth and reactions, which come so spontaneously and from your own experiences, @Prasad, have always enjoyed your work and am touched by your words, @Shail, your mind, that of an artist, a poet, speaks so incisively about what another feels, its incredible. Btw love the word 'singing' from my heart, truly it is apt

amey tirodkar said...

very nice blog Nishaji !... correctly differentiate five stages of human relationships !!

Priya Selvaraj said...

Hi Nisha,
Here I am as promised!It was an absorbing and very reflective take on a more pleasant four letter word.At the end of it,I would totally agree on the punch line: different strokes for different folks! For me,I still believe that love is as ambiguous as human emotions. We feel different kinds of love for different people.As for its romantic counterpart, I believe a pull of the mind is a pull at the heart. A heady mix of intellectual and physical chemistry.That, is far more alluring than a rock on my finger. I am mailing you two pieces I wrote on Love and Soulmates!

Susruth Maralihalli said...

Reason enough to patch up ?

Blogspot Superman said...

I never thought I would agree with this opinion, but I’m starting to see things differently…

Nisha JamVwal Roller Coaster Called Life