Thursday, August 30, 2012

Mary Kom- The Fighter, The Winner, The Success, The Strife!


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Yes! I did have tears in my eyes right through the tough fight that got Mary Kom the bronze  at the first time women's boxing event that had been introduced at the London Olympic 2012. Every Indian was rooting for her, most partial to her win, above all other competitors. What makes Mary so special? So why is the movie 'Mary Kom' so happily glossing over the main fight she went through- the Olympics?

The palpable vulnerability & power of a dream comes through brilliantly in #PriyankaChopra's frustration, pain, anger, angst through her performance as and in the Movie Mary Kom - seldom did I see Priyanka Chopra in the performance, I almost always saw Mary Kom. After having met and known #MaryKom - and I will share excerpts of my conversations with you.  I do feel that Sanjay Leela Bhansali has spun a winner- but I wasn't as gripped in the first half as in the second, personal vignettes & development of her personal struggle & lack of nutrition which I happen to know of, her angst & strife need to have been somewhat more strongly communicated! 

And yet I was moved by the fighter, the mother, the winner MC Mary Kom- Kudos @Priyanka, #MaryKom #SanjayLeelaBhansali & #Omungkumar. My favorite after Onler & Priyanka is the Coach, the understated yet powerful actor Thapa. Onler's story & his personal sacrifices come through beautifully, where men support their women to pursue a dream- that is truly what #Onler did, it is not even slightly exaggerated. Eventually I do wish the #Olympic story had been fleshed out better.

I have over the years been moved by Mary Kom's story, her chats with me, her fortitude and her ability to laugh.  From a tribal community of north-eastern state of Manipur- epitomizes a woman who despite many odds came up triumphant. She was fighting opponents who weighed 54 kg, four inches taller and yet she did win a bronze. She works very hard for every single win she’s achieved. But so does her entire family. The take out is that there are stronger people in a competitive world, but hard work backed by a supportive family give you that x-factor that makes you a winner and a hero in life.

Click below to read entire article...........


The more successful you are, more often than not, the greater is the support and love you’ve had from a cheering encouraging family behind you. In Mary’s case -silent, strong, supportive and understated.  On the flipside, family that criticize you, telling themselves that they are doing it for your good, nag and vitiate the atmosphere only pull down the winner spirit and create fears and insecurities for a person who might be successful otherwise.  

Mary Kom's journey is the stuff dreams and movies are made of. And the movie , while lacking in personal fleshing out of her angst, brings somewhat to you the journey. 

The journey to the top of women's world boxing has been an arduous one for Mary. Inspired by Manipuri boxer Dingko Singh, Mary Kom gave up needle-work and books for boxing gloves. But she had to hide her interests from her family until her victory in the Manipur state women's boxing championship in 2000. “When I started, my male friends would say it is not a woman’s sport. But I say if men can do it then why not women.

My parents soon acquiesced to my request and let me follow my dreams- they even met all my needs even though the means were difficult. Boxing is not easy nor inexpensive. There were times things became very difficult.” If growing up in the strife-torn state of Manipur was hard, the road to the London Games was much-much harder.


“After marriage, which in the crucial turning point especially for women, I wasn’t sure I would be allowed to pursue my dream.  To my utter surprise my journey received even more encouragement , and unexpected love and permission from my in laws and husband to move on with my career.” 

Marriage and motherhood  was indeed a challenge but it turned out to be Mary’s strength. “Time brought forth greater obstacles when my lovely, naughty kids Rechungvar and Khupneivar came into my life. My husband saw to them and he never let me feel for a moment that my absence has done harm to our family. There were greater responsibilities, expenses and demands with motherhood from every angle. Even my father did not believe in me at this time. However, my family’s love and support helped me tide even this phase to reach my dream. They filled all the gaps .”

Onler played a crucial role in her growth and time and again Mary Kom gives him the credit-
The hardest part of my training is being away from my kids, even though I should not worry with a husband like Onler and in-laws who have been so supportive in helping me manage my home and my life as mother, wife and daughter.  Onler is always there to look out at all their needs.”

While the journey has been tough for Mary, Onler stayed at home and catered to their twin sons while Mary Kom travelled the world trying to bring laurels so that after a two-year sabbatical that saw her start a family, Mary Kom came back even stronger,  to win the World Championship twice. “I carried on with the encouragement and help of family and friends.” 

The silent and supportive Onler pushed her to achieve her dreams. “Everyone thinks she made it because of my support, but I am just doing my ‘homework’.  It is all about understanding, respecting each other’s feelings and being there in times of crunch, which might not need your presence but concern. I can cook and wash and do everything because my love for her makes me. This is what we vowed for.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in controlling the one you love and suppressing your wife, but rejoicing in her triumph. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes..... always” shares Onler.

No matter what your career - competition has become so tough- the only thing that matters is success and only a very few can achieve success in a competitive environment . I am proud to see that after my wins, many people from my native Manipur are embracing boxing as their career. We must  excel- my family’s love and support helped me to reach for my dream” says Mary with a fire in her eyes from her win, and desire to get the gold at Rio in 2016. 

Be sincere towards your goal always, work hard and never give up. Remember God works in disguise.

Every single Indian prays for this dynamic lady who packs so much power in her tiny frame, to win the gold one day.

Nisha JamVwal 
Written For & Published in Asian Age & Deccan Chronicle
nishajamvwal@gmail.com

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