Saturday, November 12, 2011

Sushmita Sen Talks To Nisha JamVwal on Love, Romance, Marriage & Kids


She's one woman who so aptly exemplifies 'Bold and Beautiful'.

The warmth and exuberance that Sush exudes is infectious, and real. She's one of the most unpretentious star's I've met, and you might have noticed I don't use the word 'star' for just anyone who is an actor. To me an actor is an actor is an actor! Doing a job and earning a living. A bigger paycheck maybe, but fame and fortune is transient and erratic. Warmth and goodness are not common attributes in the artificial world of acting out roles! Sush, a star all the way, brings out a genuine affection, a desire to know what has kept a real woman in an artificial world so warm, loving and genuine?                                          

Most often the one thing a bachelor girl who wants to go it alone misses is a child. I find out, in our tete-a-tete I find that Sush found the all-round fab answer which allowed her not to cling to the first eligible that came her way, and here she is a successful, independent woman living life as a strong , living by her own rules, glamorous persona- the vibrant Sushmita Sen! Lives life on her own terms and a four-letter word to the world. 

She is the poster girl for today’s thinking, achieving woman- and the not so hi profile  want to know what it is to take the big step toward adoption, does it change life for the better, and what does it take  to go her way. 

Is it even possible to live life with the challenges that she must face on a personal level, because it can’t have been an easy decision. Taking on adoption of two girls without the conventional male support-how did she asses all this in life's weighing scale and what of the need of a psychological father figure? What guidelines would she give? While the world sees a rosy picture augmented by the glossies I’ve always wondered what are the challenges Sushmita encounters?  Would growing up children not miss the peer group conventional ‘dad’? Even condemn the unconventional in their young naïveté' and judgemental way?


Sush deliberates at my outpouring queries, taking them on with her trademark panache “You just said it! I have multifaceted dreams Nisha, and you can call having babies multifaceted- apart from being multifarious and multitasking! I have always known that my first two children shall be born from my heart. A knowing that you don't question- it just is...and it was'nt so early” she smiles broadly, “I had Renee at twenty four, Alisah at thirty-four, I wanted them at 18!” she laughs throatily.

When a couple adopt, a child now has a future with parents, siblings, joy and security. Was this a selfless act? Did Sush not worry about the impact on marriage or relationships? I am thinking of the Indian male psyche which has that typical association of ego and taking ones ‘line’ and genes forward. Sushmita is quick to reiterate “it is not selfless; at best you could say that it is a virtuous selfishness...a la Ayn Rand. But, I'd much rather that no such names be given to our love. I am their mother and they are my children, I am as blessed to have them, as they are to have me.  Have we ever said - the selfless bit-to a mother though she may long to hear it?” Sush laughs, “and yes, my children do have an impact on my relationships, but not the worrying kinds. The loving, expanding, happy and nurturing kinds”.

To balance life in this fast paced entertainment industry is a tightrope walk, - to work so successfully at a career with the responsibility of kids, school, homework.............”with another multi” laughs Sush, “I look at life as being multidimensional. And work hard at every dimension without mixing them up! I function from the source. I AM an all encompassing and inexhaustible energy. I am not defined by any perception of me, if at all, it is I AM that defines me. Successful, single, woman, gorgeous, diva, mother, sister, daughter, friend, cat woman and more, they all flow from there, and give my life the fine balance it has”.

Do you feel that the average woman can adopt and multitask like you, I persist , to which there is a reflective pause, “I feel the average woman does actually, they have more than my two babies,  cook before going to work, come back and cook again, and that's really more than I do. Tend to husbands and in laws-.definitely 'more' in their favor.

All of us multitask, the only difference is-I am the boss! The buck starts and stops at me, the crown and the cross both. For me, there are no average human beings, only beings who have not yet realized their full potential.

“Be like the sun” says Sush to summarise our afternoon tea session about adoption, children and multitasking. She quotes- ‘Even after all this time, the sun has not said...”You owe me" to the earth.

 Look what a love like that does. It lights up the whole sky’ says Hafiz
So, be like the sun, the centre of the universe, the centre of your family, magnificent, powerful and radiating in its brilliance.” 

Enveloping all in its glow is that broad smile throughout our tête-à-tête that reiterates the joy that Sush and many others feel at adopting a child, the ultimate happiness that they could have given to a child who otherwise might have grown up lonesome. A pleasure that they give to themselves as well. -They now have a beautiful life looking up to them for love and guidance while giving that delight and exhilaration to the parents that only a child can

For Deccan Chronicle & Asian Age
Printed & Courtesy Deccan Chronicle & Asian Age
The author is a lifestyle columnist & a Designer

1 comment:

Grem Ivana said...

A lot of things seems very simple, when we look at it from the side, or very difficult when we are not involved in it emotionally.
Emotions are an aggravating factor often.
For me, for example, my emotions are the greatest catalyst.
My friends think to adopt a child. They have a 7-year-old beautiful daughter. But, unfortunately, they can not have more children. Adoption is an incredibly responsible. Perhaps even more than to conceive, carry and give birth.
Previously I had thought about an adoption as an act of virtue. Only (It's very limited point of view, I agree.)Now, I understand that adoption is a profoundly selfish act.
It is unthinkable, but it is a fact. People refuse from adopted children. And it is also selfish (often). But not always. Human is a unique perfume of emotions.
I met a wonderful person, she adopted a daughter (6 month-old girl), but after a while she gave the baby back.
Time passed, she got married and had a daughter ... and they adopted three children. Now it is a big family, a happy family.

Chaque chose en son temps

Nisha JamVwal Roller Coaster Called Life