Kunal Kohli Essay's Romances with Rani Mukherjee, Karina Kapoor & Amisha Patel

What Is KK's  Personal Take On Love Sex Romance? 

Fanaa, the Bollywood Movie set in Kashmir where Aamir Khan romances Kajol, was for me one of the more poignant love stories I’ve seen in recent Hindi Filmlore.  Kunal Kohli, the director and writer of this romance has explored the themes of love and interplay between the dynamics of a man woman relationship. 

He has said so much in his films about love and romance, and I am curious as to what he finds attractive in a woman? What in a relationship attracts him and excites him ? And most importantly, while decoding the man woman chemistry in Teri Meri Kahani, Hum Tum and Mujhse Dosti Karoge- how much of him exists in his movies?

He has essayed romances with Rani Mukherji, Kajol, Amisha Patel, Kareena Kapoor and Deepika Padukone where a subliminal message seems to come through, literally like a conversation spoken aloud by him on celluloid, on the subject of romance and love. I am curious!

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Over pink champagne, on the terrace garden of Kunal’s Bombay penthouse, he gives me his world view about what love means to him, the things that excite him about women and whether romance is an illusion or does it really exist. 

“For me the most interesting and beautiful thing about a man and woman relationship is the changing dynamics that keep changing with changing experiences. It is an ever evolving process.  I enjoy the movement and growth that happens with time.”

Kunal’s protagonists are very tangible and identifiable, beautiful and romantic. I find I
connect with his idea of romance. His characters go beyond the attraction to form and physicality and extend themselves into connections that transcend the flesh. And I felt that before I actually saw 'Teri Meri Kahani' where he has given that thought a real form. The lovers meet again and again through lifetimes. 

 What then attracts him to a woman? 

“It’s difficult to say what attracts one to a woman exactly, but if I was to pin it down it’s intellect, that's a big thing for me. Looks are important, but intellect is of the greatest importance, as there is no communication for me without intellect. If its looks , its short-lived and then nothing lasts. Because everything for me starts and ends with the mind, talking to that special someone, your expression of love, your lack of expression of it. Every thing is based on the mind.”

Fanaa was a story of a terrorist, so their principles and life views were different. But their attraction and love was everlasting.

 “Kajol will always love Aamir Khan, she will live with his memory. It’s about life choices, she tells her son that life is not always about right or wrong , sometimes you have to choose what is more right. That too is a difficult thing. When you throw in the dynamics then the relationship is more interesting.”

Is there a happily ever after in real life like his films, that mostly deal with the run up to the 'happily ever after'? 

“Definitely, and if it hasn’t happened for you then my message is that wait, you’ve not yet got there. Or it could just mean that you’ve not seen it, you might have got it or its just round the corner. Not that it doesn’t exist. Shahid Kapoor and Priyanka Chopra in  Teri Meri Kahani  and Saif and Rani in Hum Tum lived happily ever after in my mind. And all couples after the romantic dating and mating have to grow through life together. Like when people say that their relationship has plateau-ed then they’ve actually lost interest. Nothing peaks its an excuse people use- a great cushion to hide behind what is actually disinterest in working at it.”

So according to Kunal were we meant to be monogamous? 

“Society has been conditioned like this, to be monogamous. Nature also plays a part I feel. Not being monogamous does lead to diseases, so maybe nature is telling us to be monogamous. There is a reason why man has a choice.”

Rani and Saif had a recurring argument through Hum Tum, that can a man and woman only be friends, to which I notice an uncomfortable laughter with a twinkle, 

“romantic then no, logical then yes. I think it depends on what kind of mood you are in , in different times of your life. There is no hard and fast rules. I have had attractive female friends where I’ve maintained just a friendship, yes there is an attraction but you have to be mature enough to not act and react on every feeling of yours. What otherwise then makes us different to animals. It’s our power of logic and reasoning.”

How much of Kunal is there in his films? 

“I think enough that I cant admit to.
I think it’s very difficult to just verbalize romance so I say it through celluloid. Romance is different thing to different people. For me it is two people just holding hands and spending time together. It’s  basically togetherness. That you cannot beat, replicate, replace.”

What according to Kunal keeps a marriage from becoming monotonous? Routine sets in,  he weaves romance in stories -but in the real world what saves a relationship from the decay of monotony? 

“Understanding and listening. Most often we don't listen. If something is wrong instead of keeping it in, communicate. When you don't talk about things, then things go wrong. If you express it can change things a lot. I don't think it’s an India thing, its a world wide thing, where people just don't talk and chat. Issues and problems stem from not touching, speaking, communicating. What else stops people ? Why could you speak to a stranger at a bar, a therapist  or a friend and not to your spouse? You have to break the barriers, spell it out, and you realize and think to yourself-“ what was I thinking, this is not even a problem, why make such a big issue about it?”

“My own personal romance experience has been just this. I don't think there can never be a relationship without issues , you have to realize that you want to deal with it. Like any problem you have , you have to figure out how you want to solve them. That's what keeps a relationship going. Fortunately for me, I’ve always managed you to talk and resolve issues with conversation.  Ive been in a marriage of fifteen years, we’ve been able to transcend the downs and look at the ups, and I think that's what’s important. I think here the most important thing is what you choose to do, to give up or you choose to get over it. Its important to move on with learning. I’ve also had my share of problems. We’ve spoken, let time heal and you move on together.”

Nisha JamVwal

For Deccan Chronicle &

Asian Age

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