Forgetting The Past & Moving On |
| Nisha JamVwal |
There is no going back
and yet every pore and muscle wants it all back, without the betrayal and
complications. Well, unfortunately, there is NO GOING BACK. There is only one
way, to go forward, towards a new beginning, a new future.
Just yesterday all your
loyalties were with that special one. You loved cared and were devoted. And
this feeling of disorientation is unbearable. It just makes you feel marooned
and isolated from your very core. Your reason for being has been snatched from
beneath your feet. You feel most shocked and have this big sense of betrayal.
Both of you.
The sad truth is that
there is no real formula except working hard at moving on. Yes, the same adage
works here too! There is really no free lunch, it’s a self training exercise of
determination all the way. Travel. Does it work? I know, every prospective
partner you meet on the trip, you’re comparing to that one who just exited. So
heres the thing, why on earth are you looking anyway? I mean, didn't you just
get out of a tough relationship?
The trick I’d say, is to
not look, not covet, not secretly want a tailor made clone of the past partner
to come and fill the lacuna. Let more fun and exciting, mind occupying
entertainment fill the lacuna. Learn a new language, loose the unwanted weight,
call up your friends who've been tolerant of you taking them for granted. Sort
out your email inbox and make folders. Occupations that do not bring you back
to the same old ‘why’, ‘how’, ‘when’ questioning, rehashing, self doubt routine
are an exercise in will power that will get you through. Trust me it’s not
worth it if its over. It is time to move on and away from all the self
recrimination, hurt and pain. It’s time to make new occupation and focuses of
your time.
It might not be easy but
if you don't close the door on the past the future will never unfurl and
flower. Here I’m not saying it will be another partner, but I’m definitely
promising that you’ll be happy again, realize why it didn't work, feel a sense
of relief that nature and serendipity took you away from something that was not
meant for you. Because something happier is waiting for you at the curb just
ahead.
How do I know? Because I've been through it, I chose to end a relationship that had become a liability, and yes I've cried and felt it’s the end of the world,
but I have delighted some painful chunk of time later in the relief of being
rid of an anchor that weighed me down and never let me soar. Because remember
one important thing, and yes I know what I’m speaking of, true love makes you
soar and delight with every waking moment. And it takes you to new growth and
positive metamorphosis with every brush. I've always viewed love as a timeless
ethereal fragrance that lingers, warms , gives meaning to moments and stays
with me forever.
Not a long time ago the much publicized romance between Deepika Padukone and Ranbir Kapoor broke up. Even the audiences who enjoyed seeing the good looking couple together were disappointed, let alone the deep pain Deepika so obviously went through. But each found new love and happiness, not Bollywood style, but in the real world sense. So love does have its expiry period too sometimes, and some of us lucky ones find the forever love- its very much a matter of chance, investment of self, time and then it is luck.
Love, I believe, shouldn't pull you down and fall apart eventually. The very fact that it came crumbling
down is because it was never meant to be in the first place, so move on and
find meaning in other pursuits, and yes , out of the blue true love will might
come and blow you with its magic when you least expect it to.
Written for Printed &
Published in Asian Age & Deccan Chronicle
Nisha JamVwal
nishajamvwal@gmail.com
Tweet Nisha @nishjamvwal
