Desperate to get Hitched? Wait up!

Jumping headlong into a marriage because ‘it’s been decided’, ‘your family wishes it’, ''you're lonely and need company',  ‘you’re getting too old and you might miss the boat’, ‘you’re spouse to be is in the foreign service and you will get to travel the world’ –these are the wrongest reasons and spell disaster if you are not compatible. 

Companionship, friendship, love and trust are reasons to make it a lifelong commitment, convenience, alliances of businesses, age concerns, lust, pregnancy, desperation, money, fame and materialism are NOT! 

 It is indeed difficult to make the tough call of opting out with all the temptation to go ahead and take the easy route. I urge you to be brutal -with yourself and all around you. Better to be alone in harmony than together in mismatched disharmony where you will be even more isolated, forlorn and disappointed.

When you get that funny niggling doubt and misgiving which goes beyond just nervous butterflies, it is not prudent to go in for a relationship that will turn out to be traumatic long term.

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WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A WOMAN EARNS MORE THAN HER MAN! SHENAAZ HUSAIN SPEAKS ON EGO MANAGEMENT WITH THE SPOUSE!

 

SHENAAZ HUSAIN ON LOVE MARRIAGE & EARNING MORE THAN HER SPOUSE- HOW DOES IT WORK?

It would be incorrect to presume that men don't feel uncomfortable when their woman earns more. Or has a more powerful job than her man. In traditional relationships especially in our country a man tends to feel very uncomfortable, even threatened. There are definitely adjustment issues. Can you imagine a woman who puts in a fourteen hour day at work doing the laundry?  Roles have to then be redistributed and yet few men would take kindly to that .

When Shenaaz Husain, pioneer entrepreneur in the world of herbal beauty built an empire, she had to do a lot to ensure that her relationship and work stayed harmonious. Especially since the route up had not been easy.

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Mother-In-Law Trouble? SOLVE IT NOW!

A difficult Mother–In-Law Situation? 

Yes! You can Handle it!

I could hardly understand the rush of words pouring out at the other end of the phone. Renuka was furious with her mother-in-law’s admonishment, delivered in a superior tone of voice and very disapprovingly toward her.  Direction, interference, disapproval, unkindness. She couldn't take it anymore and had fought with her spouse because it was ‘his mother’. He was the cause of it all, her unreasonable anger declared.

“Are you buddies other than when you’re not getting along?” I queried. “Yes, when we’re not arguing –which is rare” she admitted grudgingly.

 Big mistake, I said, to her utter surprise. She’s not your 'buddy'. The truth is that you cannot be ‘buddies’ except in rare cases, and the sooner you begin to realize it the faster your relationship can flower into a semblance of mutual respect. 

Distance, mutual respect, space and formality is the KEY! 

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Karishma Kapoor Tried To Patch Up! Is It Possible Really?

Working At A Broken Relationship: Is it worth it? Or Should One Let Go? Karishma Kapoor & Sonu Nigam have the tenacity to try........

 Is It Possible to Work A Broken Relationship

A while ago, Sonu Nigam was furious with speculation about his marriage. But the fact is that there had been a breakdown of conjugal harmony, his wife had returned to her maternal home and speculation about divorce was rife with reason. An upset Sonu had acknowledged "It's a very routine situation and I'm working on it. I know my wife and I can solve the problem ......” 

And solve it he did. Kudos then to him for making an effort and working it in a scenario when people so easily give up and are more than happy to survey the greener grass on the other side (sides). The bottom line is more people -like Sonu- should work at a relationship than give up so easliy...

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Salman Khan & Shah Rukh Khan are'nt the only grown-ups with fall-outs in friendships

BOLLYWOOD ISN'T THE ONLY PLACE PEOPLE FIGHT.......

An excitable voice across the phone line. Tanisha demands that her friend Anita show solidarity. “This is your true test of friendship” insists Tanisha, who's taken cudgels with another friend, and expecting all her close friends, including Anita, to take sides. “Where is your loyalty? If you go to her party then we can never speak again Anita.” she declares.

No it was not a squabble of young schoolgirls, it was women in their thirties and forty’s squabbling over breaking up, making up, taking sides and solidarity.

 Yes, maturity is not a given and people do sometimes become even more childish than kids fighting in grade two or three. Have you not heard of Salman Khan and Shah Rukh Khan's falling out and Bollywood being called to take sides. In 2008 the Bollywood badshah Shah Rukh took a dig at Salman at a party, flippantly joking about his relationship with Aishwarya. 



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Best Friend Trouble?

How Do You Handle A Painful Friend?

Tweet Nisha @nishjamvwal

How do we handle a good friend who  often pokes us and pricks our self esteem and prods us to confront ourselves in a manner that we would rather not. Do we do away with the friend or how do we handle it all was a question my friend Bingo posted on her facebook status. 

-She seemed to suggest the friend becomes a pain in the neck that we're better off without because she was at a stage in life when she is fairly attuned to what she wants and has chosen to be. To the many responses she elicited on her ‘wall’ the most balanced ones echoed my belief strongly.

My life has been about friends who have been part of my growth and metamorphosis, who have kept me firmly grounded in a world where it is easy to fly away with your fabulous fantasy of yourself. A best friend becomes like a spouse, whom we have to navigate and grow with. People are not like toilet tissue- you don't 'discard' them- you  also allow them to know when they're being a pain in the neck. You know, I've actually enjoyed the meanderings of understanding the ups and downs of relationships. You begin to take the good with the bad, as my good friend Tanaz so wisely said just yesterday!

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Sex & Romance on the Internet-Loving Dangerously Seeking Adventure!

Dangerous Love Exciting Romance 

Apart from the obvious dangers,friendships are likely to move into deeper seas of intimacy and at a faster pace, as the level of inhibitions may be relaxed behind the veil of anonymity that the digital screen provides, & even well meaning encounters may be doomed by hasty assessments & subjective perceptions. What one believes may nöt be what is.

Sure , the internet has made dating and mating an easier game. And yes its adventurous; its sexy; it has its thrills; and provides multiple opportunities apart from the flesh and blood ‘been there done that’ option that you have begun to find jaded and mundane. 

And yes I agree- the world is becoming your oyster with the internet and social networking is an exploratory diversion. You could be romancing a handsome Australian or Italian, or a Brazilian beauty by the clicking of some computer keys. 

You can also find a spouse and are no longer restricted by the matrimonial columns or relatives suggesting some ‘eligible’ partner. 

So many internet sites shout out 'Meet sweet pretty girls online for dating' and the subtext is 'mating' too!!! 

But anything that is too good to be true usually is. Too good to be true that is.
Disguised identities, stalkers, rapists, fake photographs abound on the net. Did you know that internet infidelity is the cause for many a divorce, and the statistic of dating, mating and breaking has gone up monumentally due to the ease and availability of sex and relationships, nudity and 'friendships' on the internet?...............

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Attraction Grows with achieving personal dreams! Love Yourself First

Are you Half A Couple

Yes I know that clingy feeling too well. You’re in love, and every minute is either a thought, or a feeling about the him or the her that occupies every minute of your being alive. You are in love!

Another scenario- you’re married and your life is about the spouse and the house. Chores, dinners, friends, all of life filled with together things about and engulfed with the life partner, for better or for worse until death do you apart!

While that is idealistic it is indeed not true always. The truth I believe is quite the opposite.

Did you stop to think about what fascinated you about your partner? The very individualistic characteristics that made the attraction happen? And the partner toward you? To retain that magic the most important thing is ‘me’ time. Time to grow, metamorphose - but happily single for that time where you find the essential you which made the attraction happen in the first place. Too much clinginess and you are just ‘half-a-couple’ joint at the hip.

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Ramesh 'Sholay' Sippy's Wife & Ex Are Best Friends

Yours Mine & Ours

It was 


sometime ago that I remember reading about Sholay’s high-profile director’s second marriage to Kiran Juneja, a TV actress, after divorcing his first wife Geeta. This was Sippy's second marriage. Kiran, Ramesh and I became friends through my journey in Bombay and you can imagine my surprise when I received fervent invites to a movie preview to Rohan Sippy’s plays and later his wedding parties coming from Kiran. And she was genuinely involved and concerned at the attendance. 

Wasn’t the ‘step-mother’ supposed to be in the outhouse of awkwardness or were these fairy tale clichés? Is it possible to have a yours-mine and ours situation in the real world? Can the first and second wife ever be friends at all? Yes, Yes, yes, I discover in a revealing enlivening chat with Kiran and Ramesh Sippy.

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Shamita Shetty On Love, Marriage & Being Single

What Kind Of Man Is Shamita Waiting for to make wedding bells ring for her?

@nishjamvwal

In a world where women tend to throw the towel in and compromise on their cherished dreams of what constitutes an idyllic marriage, Shamita Shetty has been stoically single. She prefers to play the waiting game and follow sister Shilpa Shetty. -To look for someone that meets all her expectations, someone like Raj Kundra –“he has all qualities of a good sincere man. The quintessential ‘Mr Nice Guy’ - Unfortunately he’s taken. Fortunately by my sister” she laughs.

     I’ve known the family closely, and also realized how important it is in the eyes of the   family  for the girls to settle down and create a solid family. And yet Shamita waits  patiently for the man who will sweep her off her feet. What is she looking for in her man?


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