Open Marriages, Open Love, Open Sex! Do They Work?

Does another society marriage bite the dust? It is being said that the once very romantic couple -ex-model Rhea Pillai and tennis ace Leander Paes- are allegedly daggers drawn and trying to agree on a settlement to go their separate ways. Both came into the relationship with much history, but also what appeared to be much passion. 








The relationship gained momentum even as Leander was supposed to be in a serious relationship with actor Mahima Choudhury- and she stated that she had only stumbled upon the truth of his two timing her much into his relationship with Rhea. She had said at the time "In any relationship, there has to be love, trust, commitment and loyalty. If any one of these elements is missing, the relationship isn't worth pursuing," and most of us would agree with that assumption of a relationship?

Today the situation has come full circle with Rhea and Leander allegedly parting ways in a bitter custody battle, and rumour mills cite the cause of the trouble being an allegedly open marriage.  While this might indeed be chinwag, it makes one ponder the ‘institution’ of open marriages and what they must actually mean.

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

Hritik Roshan & Suzanne Roshan Break Up! Turmoil in human relationships...........

It’s been an eventful year for most people I know. I must admit, for me personally, one of the more challenging years of my life, and yes challenges I’ve indeed had my share of. That’s what actually gives me the bandwidth to chat with you on varied issues, the ability to unravel the secret behind making things work despite the tests and trials that life throws at one. As things go, unless there are calamities at world level, turmoil’s in human relationships assume almost as gigantic proportions as earth shattering events. I have seen so many of these cataclysmic chaos-es this past year- almost like an epidemic. 

In 2013 , some of the most happy relationships broke down and public declarations of divorce, separation and severe cracks euphemistically termed as ‘taking time out’ from the marriage dotted the relationship scene like commas and full stops in a page.

The biggest buzz all year was the breakdown of Hritik Roshan’s marriage of so many years, and their public declaration that came some recently with speculations of the divorce settlement. The golden couple of seventeen years is no longer in the happily ever after. There was an alleged entry of a third party, Arjun Rampal to which Suzanne declared- “it is only about me and Hrithik, nobody else” and wouldn’t you agree? An outsider, of which there are always many prowling about cannot be the cause for fracture of a relationship. Things go wrong in deeper multifarious levels. 

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

Shashi Tharoor's 'Friendship's repercussions on Sunanda Pushkar's Life & Her Mysterious Death

What repercussions did Shashi Tharoor’s ‘Friendship’ have?

In an email to Shashi Tharoor, Meher Tarar says feelingly-" ...so I guess I was right all my life. Friendship between a man and a woman will always be labelled incorrectly and even the woman who's the love of your life will doubt your word against very circumstantial evidence" 

To which Shashi replied that he'd been asked by Sunanda Pushkar to not be in touch with Tarar anymore. "I hope you will understand and forgive me if I stop our phone and email exchanges" he said.

http://www.indiatimes.com/news/india/leaked-mehr-tarars-email-to-shashi-tharoor-on-sunanda-pushkar-123606.html

 The events that followed spelled disaster for Shashi Tharoor, who quite obviously was unable to stop communication with Tarar despite his best intentions. I remember the few times I met them, they had looked so happy and engaged with each other. For a third marriage for both, it was delightful to see such a youngster like romance and attraction. Also shows how deceptive appearances can be, and how easily their relationship became prey to suspicion, acrimony and the forbidden apple of Shashi's 'friendship' with the opposite sex. Today months after Sunanda's 'demise' there is no clarity as to the reason of her death, the aplrax placed on her bedside is not present in her blood say the tests conducted to unearth the reason of her untimely death. So were the strips placed there for a reason?

In 'Hum Tum' Saif Ali Khan and Rani Mukherjee have an interesting exchange about the friendship between a man and a woman? Or then 'When Harry Met Sally' Meg Ryan argues with Billy Crystal about the possibility of a platonic friendship between the two sexes.

It might indeed be possible but with the Democlese sword of sex, attraction, lust, chemistry always hanging on the head of the friendship- ready to take it into another dimension anytime. And so it is that a man woman friendship is like a diet which can anytime give into the forbidden chocolate 

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

Party Season & You're Feeling Left Out? Here's How To Handle It!

    Alone On New Years Eve?

No where to go and mortified? Not that you don't have a million things to occupy you, but you don't like the feeling of being left out? 

Yes Cinderella was alone too on the night of the Ball, and no, we dont have a physical fairy God Mother who will appear with a magic wand. But don't panic, you can change it all by being your own fairy God Mother. Change your attitude, and be a friend before the upsurge of expectations begin to engulf you. 

Start by inviting your friends over or take them out for a change. Don't believe that it's your birthright to be called when your close circle is invited, just because you belong to the gang. And please do not sulk with your friends, that is indeed harakiri!

 Do you know , that to gain a friend you first have to be one. Not by just hanging around, but by making the effort, reciprocating, calling, asking and being hospitable. And if you still are not invited then please do not throw a tantrum!

It’s the party season, and friends host parties galore at this time.   I find myself inundated with bbm’s of how attractive I’m looking on my dp, ESPECIALLY at the time I am hosting a party. 

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

Trust & Loyalty, Are They Relevant Words Today?

The timeless ingredients that outlast rapids and turbulence in relationships is communication and trust.

Backbiting and gossip is rife in a society where social aspiration and climbing up the ladder for invitations and name dropping abound. So how do relationships and friendships survive in a predominantly farcical and superficial urban milieu, where page three culture dominates?

When all else points to a loved one or a friend being guilty, telling you that they are at fault, and you are the victim-stop to think and evaluate the situation before jumping to conclusions. How are you going to do that!

 I'd like to ask you if words like 'loyalty', 'trust', 'honesty' have become obsolete, traded for upwardly mobile attributes like ambition, pecking order and social advancement. I mean which world am I living in, I ask myself! And my answer is this- qualities like loyalty and trust are classics that outlast transient shallow trends.

If you’ve cared for and loved someone for years, and something goes wrong where your loved one is ostensibly to blame, stop to think, evaluate, communicate and discuss the situation before jumping to conclusions. Ask what transpired and if he or she had anything to do with the problem. Always draw from the ‘bank balance’ of good memories and the loyalty you’ve seen all the 

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

Desperate to get Hitched? Wait up!

Jumping headlong into a marriage because ‘it’s been decided’, ‘your family wishes it’, ''you're lonely and need company',  ‘you’re getting too old and you might miss the boat’, ‘you’re spouse to be is in the foreign service and you will get to travel the world’ –these are the wrongest reasons and spell disaster if you are not compatible. 

Companionship, friendship, love and trust are reasons to make it a lifelong commitment, convenience, alliances of businesses, age concerns, lust, pregnancy, desperation, money, fame and materialism are NOT! 

 It is indeed difficult to make the tough call of opting out with all the temptation to go ahead and take the easy route. I urge you to be brutal -with yourself and all around you. Better to be alone in harmony than together in mismatched disharmony where you will be even more isolated, forlorn and disappointed.

When you get that funny niggling doubt and misgiving which goes beyond just nervous butterflies, it is not prudent to go in for a relationship that will turn out to be traumatic long term.

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

The Irrelevance or Relevance of Marriage by Vikram Bhatt

Dalliance, Love, Marriage With Vikram Bhatt

“To me, marriage is an archaic and oppressive institution that should have been abolished years ago. And love? Its magical comfort food for the weak and uneducated. Yeah, it makes you feel all warm and relevant but in the end, loves leaves you weak, dependent and fat” says the character of Matthew Mc Conaughey in the film ‘Ghosts of Girlfriends Past’

Vikram Bhatt’s views are not far behind! Vikram has not only blazed a trail for his own brand of cinema but is also known for his unconventional personal life. 


- In my years of knowing him, he always came across as a very outspoken, real person sans pretensions, positioning, flim flam! So that when I was the Indian journalist doing the documentary ‘Twenty Four Hours In Mumbai’ the French journalist with me asked him superciliously ‘what do you feel about poverty in India’? Vikram answered cockily ‘what do you feel about drugs in France?' (sic). 

That pretty much says it all. Direct, self-assured, wry humor & delightful. 

So his views on the current scenario of marriage , while unconventional, are stimulating.

 Is it obsolete according to him? Does marriage have consequence in our times or is it just an institution to give us support and succor?  In this age many view it as a “contract” commissioned by the government ‘to disenfranchise intercaste, interfaith and interracial marriages.’

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

Do You Want A Mama's Boy? Get yourself a Man

DIMPLE  LOOKS ON HORRIFIED AS SON SAIF ALI KHAN KISSES GIRLFRIEND DEEPIKA PADUKONE

Women Don’t like Mamma’s Boys- Wake Up Before It’s Too Late?

Just last week I had an experience that left me quite taken aback. A friend had feverishly implored me to help her son’s procure a job. I went all out and got him the interview despite there being an HR protocol for the job in question. He did go, was made to wait, was met with, post which to my utter surprise I received a spate of angry sms’s from his ‘mommy dearest’ annoyed with the fact that her darling son was made to wait. On further research I found out what I’d been suspicious about. He’d had a bad divorce, has not been working for some time now, and is generally finding it difficult to cope. You might already have guessed why! Yes, a molly coddling, over-protective, helicopter mother with an excessively attached son?

The truth here is that a lot of male children, especially in India, are the apple of their ‘mamma’s’ eyes receiving too much attention and nearly royal treatment from infanthood. Their every need is pandered to and become expecting of the same pampering and care from the spouse. They are often not allowed to fend for themselves and are feted, sheltered, and cossetted by the mother with unconditional love even after their marriage. They rarely think they are wrong and grow up with an exaggerated sense of self. Mothers are to blame for pandering to their son's every need, and unfortunately women don't like to date or be married to men who need to be served and can't take care of themselves.

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

Love, Sex, Greed & Bitter Break-Up's

Tweet Nisha at @nishjamvwal

  It all started with passion, love, great sex, parties, lunch, dinner. She was flawed. He proposed, she saw castles and candy and agreed readily. She would rule!

Come the tiny hiccough of a tough patch and what happens? She flies the coup. To the arms and bed of another man who promised 'good-fun' times. 

Yes! Break ups can be greatly ugly, and couples that loved each other 'unto death' become sworn enemies. When my good friend Harish broke up, I found him dignified and silent, and yet his ex-girlfriend went to the ‘marketplace’ -metaphorically shouting intimate details of their break-up to all the friends they had shared- spilling details of give and take, sex life and personal issues that until then were sacrosanct. Or at least so he had believed! 

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

TEACHERS & STUDENTS! THE RELATIONSHIP, THE JOYS, THE PAINS!

The gurukul ashrams of Ancient India had revered teachers and our ancient 'parampara' was to obey and revere our teachers at all costs. Never question and give guru dakshina for the pearls of wisdom we received.

Shah Rukh Falls For His Teacher

How things have changed, haven't they. We are taught to question, often professors are on first name basis with their students and we have a kind of bon homie with our teachers. Which is not a bad thing, but a new way. One that must be tread on with respect intact!?

Sushmita Is A Lovely Professor 

With the onset of 'teachers day' my question to all of us would be, are we at all grateful to our teachers and do we celebrate them enough. Now maybe you'll react to this and say, teachers are not that dedicated anymore. They're just doing a job! To that I'd respond that life is synergetic. You give respect and are eager for education and knowledge and even a stone can impart it.

Yes , we'd all adore Sushmita Sen as our teachers, whether we are male or female students, but in real life that might be a bit unrealistic?

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

SUCCESSFUL PARTNERSHIPS & HOW TO MAKE THEM WORK: Salman Rushdie & Deepa Mehta's Camaraderie works wonders

BEING SUCCESSFUL PARTNERS

Shriya Saran in Midnights Children

Salman Rushdie has been making news with his
typical tongue in cheek wit. Here to release his film ‘Midnights Children’, I was keen to hear his views on myriad issues blazing the media. What took me by surprise was the offbeat topic he spent much time discussing- his interesting insight into partnerships and working together, handling the sometimes conflicting ideas that partners run into when working together. Salman spoke at length about his collaboration with Deepa Mehta while making the film, and it struck me as an important insight in an environment where business partnerships are growing and new partnership opportunities enter a globalizing India.

Salman and Deepa’s camaraderie came across when they discussed their latest project ‘Midnights Children’ so enthusiastically. Quite obviously they’d had a blast doing the screenplay from Salman’s book for the film and translating a difficult subject into celluloid. And he elucidated as much. In fact I don't believe I’m being facetious when I say that he was also somewhat surprised himself at how wonderfully they’d worked together for a long span of over a year.

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN A WOMAN EARNS MORE THAN HER MAN! SHENAAZ HUSAIN SPEAKS ON EGO MANAGEMENT WITH THE SPOUSE!

 

SHENAAZ HUSAIN ON LOVE MARRIAGE & EARNING MORE THAN HER SPOUSE- HOW DOES IT WORK?

It would be incorrect to presume that men don't feel uncomfortable when their woman earns more. Or has a more powerful job than her man. In traditional relationships especially in our country a man tends to feel very uncomfortable, even threatened. There are definitely adjustment issues. Can you imagine a woman who puts in a fourteen hour day at work doing the laundry?  Roles have to then be redistributed and yet few men would take kindly to that .

When Shenaaz Husain, pioneer entrepreneur in the world of herbal beauty built an empire, she had to do a lot to ensure that her relationship and work stayed harmonious. Especially since the route up had not been easy.

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'Read More' icon to read the entire article...

Anger Management Tricks & How to stay calm!

ANGER MANAGEMENT

Several news channels dissected Shahrukh Khans reaction to an intransigent guard at the cricket stadium, and I was asked what I’d felt. It was only then that I sat to analyze anger and temper tantrums and what they have to do with being right or wrong. My take is that Shahrukh was not wrong about his chagrin and protectiveness for his child, but that his scuffle had given an upper hand to some people in the press and publicity hungry people who wanted to feed off his vulnerability and brush with his fame.

An actor known for his philanthropy and intrinsic goodness, is also unfortunately known for his bad temper. Salman khan.  Some episodes include his outbursts at the organizers of the Celebrity Cricket League for  not providing him with proper security while he was attending a cricket match. Another was while shooting for an ad film where he got upset at Shahrukh Khan when requested to redo a scene with a different facial expression, and 

CLICK ON THE 'READ MORE' LABEL TO READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE.......

Mother-In-Law Trouble? SOLVE IT NOW!

A difficult Mother–In-Law Situation? 

Yes! You can Handle it!

I could hardly understand the rush of words pouring out at the other end of the phone. Renuka was furious with her mother-in-law’s admonishment, delivered in a superior tone of voice and very disapprovingly toward her.  Direction, interference, disapproval, unkindness. She couldn't take it anymore and had fought with her spouse because it was ‘his mother’. He was the cause of it all, her unreasonable anger declared.

“Are you buddies other than when you’re not getting along?” I queried. “Yes, when we’re not arguing –which is rare” she admitted grudgingly.

 Big mistake, I said, to her utter surprise. She’s not your 'buddy'. The truth is that you cannot be ‘buddies’ except in rare cases, and the sooner you begin to realize it the faster your relationship can flower into a semblance of mutual respect. 

Distance, mutual respect, space and formality is the KEY! 

CLICK BELOW ON THE 'READ MORE' ICON TO READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE.....

Madhur Bhandarkar on 'calender-girls', Sex, Women, Bollywood & Life...

Madhur Bhandarkar With Columnist Nisha JamVwal

Madhur Bhandarkar, a man of many shades, all ambitious, interesting, observant and real! He is a good friend and a keenly observant film-maker. I remember a dinner party of mine, where he just stood like a fly on the wall and focusedly noticed interactions, hardly participating. He just moved around, looking, drinking in the ambiance and making mental notes. Post which he had churned out 'Page-3'. I was riveted by some real-life sequences in the film.  I even did a tiny cameo for him in that film. Today he's working on 'Calender-girls' and enjoying working with a bevy of beautiful newcomers. Thats the beauty of Maddy as I call him affectionately. I've known him for years, nothing changes him, from his humble beginnings to today, hes as comfortable at a tiny quaint fish lunch joint as he is at a rooftop gourmet fine dining restaurant. 

With women falling all over themselves to act in his films, keen to 'hang out ' with him, Madhur manages to keep his personal life very steady. He has had his share of controversy but his own home and relationship stays unscathed.
Friendship and camaraderie in a marriage can blow over the biggest storms that a relationship goes through in its journey. You just sail though tumultuous rocky weather without imminent shipwreck, and Madhur Bhandarkar is a great example of this. 

Severe allegations and court cases thrown at him by a struggling starlet through the last few year didn’t chink his fortress, instead it stood tall. This apart from all the hot stars that he’s been linked to.

“I don't believe in elitism. I don't think the audience is this dumb person lower than me. I am the audience”- Quentin Tarentino ….Madhur quotes his hero to me several times through our chat over Malvani fish, crabs and shrimp. Touted as ‘one of the directors who explore social issues especially in and around Bombay, Madhur has shown the murkier side of society, the underbelly of Bombay. Visibly enjoying his long innings and national awards, his marriage, his daughter, he is unfazed by rumours and linkups with leading ladies from ‘Bollywood’. 

What according to Madhur keeps his marriage from breaking up, when the newspapers have linked the names of Raveena, Tabu, Mughda Godse with his? 

CLICK ON THE 'READ MORE' LABEL TO READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE.......